i am, i truly truly am. fuck i rock. anyway dreams. many, fleeting, random but all beautiful. a lot is fleeting now a days. paintball. it hurts. my f*ing gawd, i have nae run in too long. legs were ablaze this morning, and now a dull ache. but it was awesome, the kids were right beside the field "go daddy go daddy". then i got up and fucked up 2 guys in a row. man i rule. i painted chris a lot and got the shots on sketh that i promised him. also laced up matt real well. like real well. sideways bizarch. my head does the spinny thing it used to.. it feels like i am actually pirouetting whilst falling to the ground. and time still isn't doing like it should. which is good. i'm sixteen after all, young dumb and full of coffee, nicotine, hormones and illegal drugs. ohhyeh, some delightful person thought they'd tell the police i was cultivating marajuana in my mums yard.. now where would anyone get an idea like that from i wonder, and what would motivate them to call the police? but no. i am one step aware and everyone else is one step stupid. are you fucking serious? me? do something illegal? that's well worth a chuckle. so i'm going to have a glass of scotch and smoke some drugs and go drive somewhere... lmfao. pathos cracks me up. always _ra 2107|020309