I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE... i feel so retarded, because i think of stuff thats never gonna happen, & i get all into that thought & then i think, yeah right! what are you thinking?? its not gonna happen... ugh, i really wanna move & start over, but why move? i belong here, but it always feels like im missing something, damnit *mid-life crisis* well not really, im in the begining & life is good, & i just feel like whinning about nothing, well its something... ugh its sooo confusing. AHHHHHHHH! i need to shut-up, be my quiet old self, i hate my mind for thinking soo much, damnit im retarded... & of course my mother is making things worse. i blame it all on my mom. well, i cant wait until friday, i get to go camping, i wont have to think about anything then, & when i come back i get to see the violent femmes, yay! i think i was meant not to go to school & be homeless & insane, & live on the beach... take it easy dude, alexa.