ugh my mom is listening to rod stewart being a moron. pretending she does everything . when she does absolutely nothing. none of my friends really know about this diary. i might just keep it that way. my friends care too much and sometimes i dont' want them too. bc they say i know, i know. when they don't know at all. and it sucks. I'm with chris i should be happy. i am in a way but sometimes little things about him bother me. or sometimes i feel like i'm not good enough for him . i'm such a bitch to him sometimes. heh this girl commented on my other entry and i sed i hate being single. and sometimes i feel like that's half the reason i went back out with him . i don't think so though. This website sucks sometimes though, bc its always down and shit and then i forget to update. i go on whenever possible usually to look at this girls journal "suicidalscars" she has a very sad yet interesting life. i just want to be like RUNAWAY but what if she's lying and her life isn't really like that. alot people on this website are probably fake and don't cut or fuck guys and all that bullshit. its funny to think that i'm only 13 and i know about all this shit and have thought about half of it.oh well so yeah i use to like that kid steve and stuff and we're still friends. whenever he sees me in the hall with chris and me holding hands he looks down and trys not to look at me. i remember when me and him would talk on the phone for like 3 hours straight and i would never get bored of him . hmm oh well . its doesn't matter now. i'm so flad schools almost out. but some things suck about it like the fact that i won't see my friends a lot anymore. i won't see steve as much or chris or any of my guy friends that i talk to . oh well . i'm just waiting for next year and i'll be seporate from everyone. and if that happens i will die. bc i'm a very shy person i don't just walk up to people like an ass and say "hey wanna be my friend" wtf. i would never do that and my moms like "that's how you make friends" and i'm thinking no that's how you get made fun of. this entry is getting long and way off topic . so i'm just gonna end it now before i get depressed