i have a dilmma and its killing me on the inside... bout a yr or so ago, i went out with this guy and we went out for about 2ish months. i was his first gf. he was shy. i was full of myself. so nothing happend. at all! no holding hands no kiss absolutely nothin! i got tired of the nothingness so i hooked up with a friend of his. nothing more then a lil making out went on but still. by the following day our whole grade found out and of course i became the grade slut. we broke up after that and not too long after he went out with a VERY close friend of mine. the one that hooked us up...and well she did the same thing i did with the same guy. the only difference is that she made out with that guy in front of my ex. they broke up and they got back together. after that me and him started talking again. we became best of friends. he was there for me whenever i needed him and i was there for him whenever he needed me. he wa there for me thru my "difficult" times. i talked to him about my parents' divorce and how i truly felt about my parents and i have never talked to anyone about them...thats how close we became and still are. but the question that keeps goin thru my mind is how come she got a second chance and i didnt? if i ask him that im afraid im gonna screw up our friendship. but if i dont ask him, then im never gonna know what could have been.... i hate this feeling. when someone asks me for advice i tell them and in most cases it turns out good but why cant i ever give myself advice? when he used to tell me that he loved me id just say ok uh yea me2 now that i tell him that i mean it but he just thinks i mean it in a friendly way....if only he knew how much he meant to me and of course i realize this when i lost him. if anything happened to him my world would come crashing. i love him as a friend and as more... =[ ....our friendship is what keeps me from doing anymore stupid shit. i wouldnt want to jeopordize it in any way but well never know......... tomorrow makes a yr that ive been on sitDiary! w00t w00t lol