today as i sit at this desk once again at the edge of dawn, alone. It is as if today will be the rest of my life, momotinous and monochromatic. It seems so long ago in this moment to remember the past where i was so niive, I just let you slip through my hands like i didnt even need you but now while im a few years wiser i can see how foolish i was and hod FUCKING BAD i feel for my mistake but theres nothing to us now, only broken hearts and an ocean of regret between us. I would love you forever if you would grant me one more chance at your heart, but i know now what imposabilaty that is and just to say somthing meaningful; you will never know that all i wanted to do is show you my heart but i was too scared to even lift my shell for one second to give you at least a glimmer of myself I have written you many letters that you will now never knew existed, they all lay in a pile beneth your picture..... FUcK im not angry at all im just so damn disappointed in myself for letting it all drift by then shattering any strand of hope i had of you I know you are going through a rough time now and i fucking hate saying this right now.. its so damned stupid FUCK IT I CANT SEND THIS, IM TOO DAMN SAMARt, i know it will hurt you badly so selfish!! so depressed for the moment