What the fuck is wrong with everything? Why is everything falling apart? This life thing really sucks, I want to return mine. People suck. Family sucks. "Friends" suck. I want a new everything. All new friends, cause yanno I could almost live without the ones I have. There's the difference between, I fucking need you guys. But, oh well I guess cause they could care fucking less about me. "Oh, sorry, I just didn't think of it." Yeah, after you ignored me all fucking day. And why, why am I not furious? No, I'm not angry at all I'm upset. Yeah, upset that I was forgotten once again when I should be livid beyond belief. And why can't I just fucking let go. I tried, I tried damn hard and I fucking can't. Why do I have to be cursed to care so fucking much about people that could give two shits about me? Why is any of this happening? After everything how can either of you do this to me? I can't hate my Mom. I want to so bad. I don't wanna care about her because she doesn't care about me at all, but I can't. Why am I fucking like this? I don't wanna be. I wanna be like everyone else who can just throw people away like a used tissue. Why can't I be like that, everyone else gets to. And no, maybe I don't wanna talk to people who throw me away for two weeks or two months (what's really the difference anyway), but why can't I let that not bother me. This is all fucking killing me and what does it even matter. It doesn't, I guess. The sharper the edge, The cleaner the wound So I'll be keeping it dull tonight For I deserve to hurt Disfigure the outside To show how ruined I am There's no pain and no pleasure When you're too numb to feel There's a pedestal across the room And if I try to climb again This time the fall is fatal I don't deserve such and easy exit So maybe my spine can snap on impact And I'll have to crawl away [Bayside]