I wish sometimes that someone would hold me down and force me to cry or make me hug them, or get deep inside my mind. It's like when people ask me how I am and I say 'Oh, I'm fine' and I walk away. Just once I wish that someone would say 'No... you're not.' I'm messing everything up again.. I got kicked out, my father stole my car and my brother threatened me. The worst part is.. no one knows. On the outside we look like the perfect family. Well.. no one knew until a few days ago. A friend called my cell and heard my screams before they could get the phone away from me. Things have been getting more and more complicated since then. I read this somewhere I think it applies to my life right now: "my heart is on my sleeve wear it like a bruise or blackeye my badge, my witness that means that i believed every single lie you said" I have not been in town for a while.. first it was UT and church camp. I was competing at MA for about a week. I made All American for the third year in a row and next year they want me to have a job on staff! This is my last entry for a while. I'm hardly ever home anymore and it's hard to find time to write when I'm not by the computer pretending to do homework. I'll still check it for comments every once in a while and then who knows.
You need security.
There has been many changes in your life and
you have had to live in an unstable
environment. This has lead you to be suspicious
and always on guard. Your mind has a hard time
to unwind and this could lead to you having
sleeping problems, since you think too much.
People are a category you don't give much trust
at, and find yourself to be a better secret
keeper than they could ever be. Because in your
changing world you have learnt that you only
have yourself in all times.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
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