It is always going to be a spiral of 'what if's. Just like society will always be held together only on the basis of lies. Its like I spend all my time dreaming, thinking 'what if...' What if we'd never had sex. Would we still be together, still empty of the biggest complication of all? What if I'd never met David. Would you still be there, waiting for me? But the thing is, I can't keep thinking like that because everything that has happened had happened for a reason. Even when I lie by myself at night and all I can smell is the incense you gave me and your familiar scent on my sheets, I should stop letting myself forget that its over. It will never be the same, never that happy, careless, lovely relationship that we had for almost two years. Two years of being so wholeheartedly in love with someone will always mean something. And for that, there is no more 'what if.' what if we weren't still in love