well, i do believe we broke up. fucking relationships. he wrote me a song and his band played it on saturday night and he introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend. which at that stage i was. but he was too on and off. too indifferent. and i miss him like hell. i miss his kisses and his arrogance and his smell and his cuddles and his cynicism and his immodesty and his scorpio-ness. i miss everything. even the things that pissed me off. i hate it when you swear to yourself not to get too attached to someone but you do anyway. at least Phil hasn't gone to jail. i smiled the whole way back through the city after his hearing. all these business people looked at me like i was mad but i didn't care. and i walked through the leaves by the river and skipped. i wish all my days could be full of that same delight. they were with you.