Someone asked me today, "What do you want to be when you're 30?", to which I replied, "Still learning." They then asked, "What about when you're 50?" I said, "Without Regret." to put it more simple when im 30 i still want to be learning things and when im 50 i want to have no regrets

I am so lost for a couple of months now ive been trying to figure out who i am what ive become where im headed in life i cant figure anything out everythings a blur i do a lot of things for the wrong purposes and i do all the right things in secrecy to make matters worse everyone has completely shut theirself off from me no one comes to me for anything anymore well, thats not true but its so rare for someone to ask me hey richard, can you help me with something or hey richard want to come over in the mornings of school i go and i stand there alone i feel like theres no group of people that would mind my company i guess this is why im moving to chesterfield something had to happen i guess its that i care about people too much anyone well not anyone if you really get on my bad side i could care less however, there are few people like that anyway, i just care about people way too much then they walk all over me like i was never there to begin with it makes me so sick yet, i let it happen i dont even care that they are using me i just love helping i dont know anymore guys and none of you want to help me

this week has gone by so fast im so happy actually no im not i cant push myself to do something so simple i feel like a little kid in elementary school where you just like freeze up or try and ignore it but i cant anymore at all anyway, this weekend will be so good friday im going to shortpump mall to see some friends saturday im going to alley katz to see a life once lost and through the eyes of the dead and scarlet. i cant wait sunday is twom practice. which should be so good we almost have 10 songs but we are only releasing a 5 song demo im so lonely i feel empty all the time sometimes i cant get things out of my head and things are totally confusing right now and awkward i dont even think the person cares

A hypothetical assumption, a motivated failure at it’s peak. Could an entitled downfall be a mysterious uprising of power? The synchronized rhythms of life are echoing the same beat every day. The organized and unwritten routines of life are encasing the human brain in self-entrapment. The human race has grown accustomed to the “norm” in which they no longer question, but simply follow it with adaptation. The human mind is modified to think the way it has been thinking for thousands of years. The human emotion has been processing the way it has processed for thousands of years. What if we could change our internal structure and change the way we view things? What if we could reprogram our minds and emotions so we act in an entirely different manner in a more positive way? You sit in a room filled with the same chair repeated several times lined up against the wall. The room is enclosed except for a door for entering, and a door for exiting. You sit and observing your surroundings. The “entering” door opens and two people walk in. You observe the two human beings standing in front of you as if they were at a police station lined up for identification. The one on the left has the “homeless” appeal and you pinch your fingers over your nose incase he carries the horrid stench of the streets with him. His hair hasn’t been washed in almost a year. His skin complexion is dark but not from sun radiation, but from the dirt and filth he’s picked up over the years. His clothes are ripped in every angle you look at and his shoes look more like sandals due to their age and usage. His eyes are petite and he has dark purple underneath his eyes to showcase his insomnia. He sloshes as if a creaking pain erupts in his back due to sleeping on the hard concrete ground of the city. You look at his eyes and he returns the favor. There is a connection but you turn your head quickly before anyone notices. You’ve been accustomed that someone with such physical deformities is someone to stray away from. You surely can’t be seen with someone of such lower class. In a world where it is said a class system doesn’t exist, it sure seems like we separate ourselves from lower classes and act superior to those different than us. You turn your head back and take a look at the man standing on the right. Your shoulders lower and your lungs exhale; relieved and security. Brief case in hand, the man on the right smiles at you. You feel a tingly sensation in stomach and you can’t help but return the smile to this attractive human being. He stands six feet two inches tall. His hair is perfectly cut and properly short. You begin questioning how think much the stylist was paid for this marvelous hair structure. You admire his attire which consists of a black suit and a light blue collard shirt underneath. The blazer over his broad shoulders is button up an inch or two above his belly button. You move your eyes over to his wrist and a gold watch shines into your eyes blinding you, but also making you assume this man’s wealth is in the high numbers. His dress shoes are a strikingly shiny black color with no signs of usage or dirt upon them. His skin in a nice tan color and his facial hair is barely visible due to his expensive electric razor he purchased. This entire time you are observing the man on the right, the man on the left has been observing you the same way you observed him. In your upright assumption, he is a man of superiority and wealth. In your basic and routine human mind processing, he is man with fantastic characteristics. In your “norm” observation skills, he is a man to pay honor to with a sincere smile and a friendly wave.

I listened to between the buried and me a lot today. I know all of the drumming parts to all of their songs. I feel some accomplishment because the stuff he writes is so technical. Its so hard to do on drums. Anyway enough bragging i guess today blew. to put it nicely. i wish SOLs were never created they are dumb and the only reason the are even around is so this nation has something more to compete with itself about Its like if Virginia were to get the highest SOL scores in the nation we'd be like hahaha in your face rhode island, or some other state. Just cause we are dumb and our government likes a good laugh. I bet you those writing things that we do for like random topics hang on the wall in the congress room and they laugh at them for hours on end. I hate government In better news haha good joke my day was horrible someone make tomorrow better

I've seen it in your eyes Looks like your sneaking and all your lies They did catch up to you this time I swear i heard you say Blood is forever Love is forever I can fool myself all that i want But I saw the room, I heard your voice, I saw your eyes The truth will always get the best of you inside or out It took me two years to find that i wasted five years of me life Felt the truth within you and i saw red So I guess we are the long goodbye What wasted time I always hoped somehow it never happened to us But it is something that did And something that I can't forget And after all of out times You Turned and did what you did This was days and weeks of deceit You turned and walked away You said you'd be back tomorrow Well tomorrow had come and gone Looks lie your choking on all the lies They did catch up with you this time I swear i heard you say blood if forever Well it seems forever meant nothing to you It meant nothing but i swear i heard you say Blood is forever

Well I guess its cool if i update instead of writing lyrics I've been pretty swell, my band is comming along nicely and I hope people like us. For those of you who dont really know me, my name is Richard Mitchell and I'm lame. Once apon a time I started playing drums and now I'm really good, or so people say. Seven years of drumming and I guess perfection is within grasp, however, you cant ever be perfect. I also do graphic design for bands that want me to do something for them. That is pretty much my living right now. Eating, living, breathing off of how much I get paid for these designs. Some are costly, but trust me I'm cheaper than any other graphic designer out there. I design anything such as; banners, websites, aim icons, desktop backgrounds, cd layouts, etc. I love what I do because i express art in my own way. Not to some way that the school board confines as something I have to do because then I'm following school guidelines or something. Anyway, I am also a good friend. If you ever get to know me, I will welcome you with open arms. That is my promise. Friends are a huge part of my life I also take photographs I love it Its my life As for a relationship, I'm not in one. However, it would be pretty nice. Eh. Im going to wrap this up. I'm probably boring whoever would read this anyway. ps. www.myspace.com/reeeechard if you want a design made

It was the last time we lost a fight without you And finally now you understand This was the dream and answer Never stop this All i wanted was you by my side Those were true days I watched them fall away These boards will break These boards will break against my ribs We've shown ourselves With our pride atrophied A virtue burns hot enough to cauterize These boards will break Those were the days I watched them fall away I don't blame the last step in the sequence It was your way So many times we cursed your name And i do not say i hold no regrets when i close my eyes Just think of the things we could have done I've shown myself With our pride atrophied I hope you know we always loved you Forgive me for all the things Even though i watched us fall away With determination we all mist live on We've all learned things from those days I know that we all have grown Even I now feel a calm like i have never known

when i was 1 or 2 i didnt know how to tie my shoe i remember when i was 3 or 4 i knew the names of every dinosaur and when i was 5 or 6 i threw tons of sticks then when i was 7 or 8 i learned how to stick hard macaronni to a plate way back when i was 9 or 10 i did that all over again then when i turned 11 or 12 i read books right off the shelves and when i became 13 or 14 i noticed nothing rhymed with 14 and once i was 15 but then i becam 16 and now im lame

The silhouette of the man paces back and forth. The room is in ruins and his conscious is struggling to survive. Grey smoke circling towards the ceiling , rising and escape through the gigantic hole leading towards the midnight sky. The room has manifested a smell similar to a brush fire roaming a well known forest. The man gently walks upon the debris unfamiliar to what cause this catastrophe . His memory has been ripped apart and confusion is knocking at the door of his mental state. He has lost his sense of smell and sound. He places his hand on his chest and feels his lung at work but when placing his hands in front of his nostrils, he fells nothing. He hears the muffled silence similar to a soldier in war bombarded with explosions.

You are Nobody. Nothing. You have no personality (or at least, none to speak of). ...and think, that wasn't even an insult. Just a preface... Ever notice how people change "personalities" depending on who they're talking to? Ever catch yourself saying something, some quirky little figure of speech or verbal twich, that you picked up from someone else? Wonder where you got it, or why you do it all the time? Well, you probably picked it up from one of your friends, or heard someone say it in public, and subconsciously thought "hey, that was cool!" ...Ok, so that's easy... Assume that since everyone "picks up" mannerisms from the people they encounter, other people make up a decent portion of your personality. So John is mostly John, but with a little bit of Sarah, and Michael, and Zaphod thrown in to the mix, too. He wouldn't be John, without the others. You wouldn't be dem bones, without Professor Pi and Cletus the Foetus. ...And this isn't obvious because... Take that a step further. Where do you draw the line between John, and John+Sarah+Michael+Zaphod? Can you? I challenge anyone to show me a way to determine just how deeply each person i've met has affected me (seriously, folks, I've got some memories that need exorcising...). I believe that you can't draw the line; you can't know how people influence you. ...But I'm still me... There is no core personality; each of us is born with a blank template. Maybe genetics has tilted our Etch-a-Sketcha little to one side, but we're still blank when we pop out. Parents and environment set up a sort of basic outline, and then we subconsiously fill in our own character as we go through life. That's why you tend to meet so many stereotypes -- they're just people who either haven't rounded themselves out yet, or who deliberately chose to become a stereotype. ...So what you're saying is... You are a composite person. I too, am a composite. I have no personality, no existence, outside of my interaction with other, equally composite people. Maybe that's why people go insane in solitary confinement(or maybe not). Where it gets interesting, is when you live this philosophy. Meeting new people and thinking to yourself, "what will I steal from you? That finger-tapping thing? The quiet hesitation before you speak? Raised eyebrows?" Watching your friends, and seeing which personality memes of theirs you've adapted, and which ones they've adapted from you. I promise, you'll start to notice, if you look for it.

Huge update ive been really busy and remembered about this site and desided id come here i do have a myspace people that i use more than i should www.myspace.com/reeeechard please add or something im bored and tired of not talking to anyone however, i do design some sick art if you want any art work done for any purpose just tell me please ill do anything banners web design desktop background flyers tell me ill help you my AIM is llehctiM drahciR im on almost every day and all hours of the day i just gave you my myspace and if you dont have myspace maybe you have AIM and if you dont have AIM then just comment on here and there is this really cool site like myspace but kinda more simple www.stereokiller.com my name on there is This Time Its War please im lonely

haha i think i should just never come on this site anymore no one really cares what i have to write in here and no one wants to be my friend so whatever have a good life

Take back the meaning of love It never meant that much to me anyway. Fill your yourself up on arrogant lies which you substuit for the pain that you cause. Look into me, you'll see painted black skys you guess'd it, theres no hope for me. Im searching for a better place to lay my head. To feel that comfort you could not give. imbedded in my chest lie's stone. cold hearted.i feel numb. tear's wont keep me from Sticking to my feelings. I just want to be left alone.

I thought it was strange when all this shot into my mind driving. It's weird how this enclosed space makes me think so clearly...so free! I wish all hours were so relaxing. Thinking of the next noise...making up the next noise. Scream loud, loud, loud, loud. Static intoxication, sing this lovely violin song. Beat this bottle on a wall. Scream, scream, scream. The baby cries. Record the noise. It all makes sense...we're capable of beauty. Through sounds which make one cringe. The dogs only hear us now. For the first time tears came to my eyes while I was listening. Noise brings so many things...make my tingling skin freeze. Turn me on, make me laugh, shoot the can, shut the door, pour your glass, rape scene scream, car crash bash, black cat splat. A silent death, a silent scream...You can't follow me, you sing along to nothing.

lie down (dear) you're dizzy from staring at the sun again cold hands pushed us walking fast into our great entrance to where we first in twined our hearts the scene plays over and over this was purity her lights radiance washed us of our sins fade softly into what we both knew would never last pretend that this is safe to say just give me a chance to catch up because im dragging behind you the lack is overwhelming this is jealousy, destroying everyone in its path driving in squares speaking in circles to a figure that's never there look at what i have become, i am the monster you fear at night there's no waking from this dream for me, this is home solitude, so cold without you for me, this is my home lie down, you're dizzy from staring at the sun

i made this

distance bent and twisted our steps I'm falling oh save me, i can't, i cried my reach too far, the void too great you'll see these birds of prey eventually make their way home the end has come, and i am waiting i long for the infernal, i long to be made one with the dirt and you will see this disease is killing me i pray for the infernal, i long to be made one with the withering skin searching for answers only to find none sun-scorched and dry mouthed I've walked this path so many times for too long ive waited far too long ive waited emptiness consumes

your hair smells of rose bled beautty the days of suffering are over for us, but it will not end in bitter verses, nor sweetened kisses we were brought here by, purgatory curses we will leave this place in suicidal wishes look apon those stars, pick a pocket in your name The Blood content of pure bled conflict and the suffering we thought we could tame chared trees weep over, lost song scripts of mellow rain drops which drowns our motivation This was my Final Fantasy