WARNING: THIS IS A LONG ENTRY Today was a very annoying day. I wanted to shoot everyone I came in contact with. I tried to not think about it so I wouldnt feel so shitty but every person that walked by me, made me sick. There was just no getting past it. I dont know what the fuck's wrong with me to think that everyone is so fucking stupid. Luckily my mom is gone all week and I dont have to listen to her yell 24/7 about god(trent) knows what. I wrote alot this weekend. Nothing I am happy with because all that seems to spill on my paper is pathetic poems about being broken hearted and all that bull-shit. Brilliant observation #1: when you start writing about one thing for months and u cant write anything else...and its all crap anyways..you know you've lost your touch. I want to paint but my vision requires lime green and I'm fresh out of that. Im running low on paint supplies and I would go get more but my mom isnt here. One disadvantage, but I'm still glad shes gone. I ate a smart ones mini pizza today..it made me sick..I mean I know its healthy or whatever but when you fuck up a pizza like that, it should not be sold. Still waiting for my ticket out of this town...nothing yet..fingers crossed....wish I had a car. Also....This guy I have liked since the 7th grade finally told me he liked me. I knew before that he thought I was hot bc he told alot of people including my brother (they are friends) but I dont know, I dont think I will act on it even though I really really want to. I know that he is the type of guy that will tell everyone that we did more than what we actually did. Hes already stated that we have kissed...he tried once but I refused...but I still think I should stay away that boy looks like trouble. what boy isnt trouble? argh...today was the first day in over a month that I actually made eye contact with my ex and my stomach didnt even drop this time!! I think I'm moving onto the stage where I want him to see that I'm fine without him but I dont want to be there bc thats where he wants me to be...over him. But I also dont want to be in this moping stage anymore. Why cant I find a happy medium? ah well...maybe, just maybe things will start going good for me again and I wont be a boring/depressed person anymore and he will see whats he's missing..but I highly doubt that will ever happen. STDs were covered in health and wellness today ..mmmm.... that was nice right after lunch...once again I am now scared of sex. well this is long and again very pointless...overview: Still sad, still boring, still wanting to get the hell away from here, pissed off at alot of people for no apparent reason other than I am in bitch mode alot lately..ah well bye