15 more minutes of the day i am in sane. all geniuses are in sane. i just spent a half an hour insulting ian and then i broke down and told him how i care about him so much and that i spend half the time thinking of ways to be sweet to him and then when i actually see him it all goes wrong and it comes out as me being a bitch..why i do this...i have no idea. i cant seem to get being nice down right. when i indulge in myself i end up being completely mean to people unnessecarily .. maybe its because i get satisfaction from it, maybe its because it makes me feel good, maybe im not completely as secure and self confident as i think, could i actually not know? my main targets are the people i care about most, such as olivia and ian. i love them both so much, i wish it was easy to show it.