to feel calm and satisfied with how everything is...the way it stands...is the most gratifying feeling to feel. i left a comment on practically everybody on my myspace list last night. its funny. i want to be like a child and i want to be amazed by everything that i see...like the world is the most exciting exhilerating amazing experience ever. like everyday of my life is amazing just because im living it. i have to feel sad sometimes. though but thats beautiful too. in its own very fucked up shitty way. experiences in and out of consciousness...diverting senses and thoughts... i will train myself to do this without the help of anything.