i am waiting for the black sun to come..to taunt me gently for she is the most quiet form of torture, i know letting her back in to me, we will have fun, we will play, but she will damn me and take advantage, she will make me hate her with all of my body and throw me back and forth between her legs. i dont want her to do these things to me, but whatever she stands for i need it. i need to feel her empty compassion that shouldnt mean anything. i need to have her daily infatuation with this girl, this girl that treats me like a nothing..this girl that has decided to abandon me. i am now like all the rest giving myself in to sorrowful childish living, not taking care of myself and expecting others to give me what i want, independence is what i used to have. she is let back in, we will be for always, like always, me loving her her obsessing and throwing me around her body, but i will never let her go. she is the black sun. she is happy and sad and dark and light all over. i could never decide which.