I just figured it out. I realize now that I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to live. I suffered through lose of friends and lose of love. I felt pain so excurciating that I can remember everything that went on in that moment. I know what it is like to hurt to be in pain. I know how it feels when someone kills you deep inside. I know those feelings and that is my problem. I don't what to feel them. So I live a life trapped inside my own skin, like a prison. I would kill to not be hurt anymore. I would love to play a game without risks. But now I realize that Life is a risk. It doesn't matter if you live in a cage or if you live in a mansion. We only have one time to live. We could die tomorrow. We should live!