As I sit here in this chair and I blankly stare into the computer screen I can see nothing. I turned off the moniter and I can barely see myself in the reflection. What is running through my mind? Who am I thinking about? I will tell you. I am thinking about you. I am trying to imagine what you are doing right now. Maybe homework, maybe sleeping. I am not sure. I am thinking of you. I want to know how to tell you how I feel about you. What do you want me to say? That I love you, That I would run around the world to catch you. What do you want me to do? Do you want to manipulate my love and make me do stupid things for you? Would you do that? I can't imagine that you would. How do you want me to say it? What would you have me do? I am lost. What would you say? Would you reject me? That would be it. I don't know if I could handle that. Should I just keep my feelings locked up? Should I not express how I really feel? Someone told me that you shouldn't do that cuz sooner or later it will come back to get you. Someday you will be walking around and one bad thought will come to your head and you will just breakdown. I don't want that. I am not sure if I could do that. I am not sure. That is really scary. I don't even know how to handle myself. I feel like my life is crashing down all around me. I need to get out of here. I can't stand it, everyone is in pain, everyone is like myself, but yet we have to be strong we have to lock it inside. We can't let others see us cry. Why not? I have to admit it now. I cry. I cry about almost everything. And yet, I cry when there is no comfort. When noone knows. It makes me feel ashamed. And so, I am saddened.