im so fucking depressed. were leaving 2marro, this is our last nite here. went 2 aunt lauras n saw everyone 2 say bye, i didnt think i would cry till i said by 2 gramma n auntlaura cuz they had tears in their eyes so i started 2 get all teary 2. now here at aunt donnas aunt ri came up n 2nite ryan n aunt adele are spending the nite. danis staying 2 even tho i thought wed be droping her off at aunt lauras 2 go home w/ gramma. but shes just gonna go back w/ aunt adele 2marro after we leave n shes gonna drop her off at grammas. i told her 2nite were gonna have 2 stay up real late. n me her n ryan said later 2 nite well go swimming in the dark like we did w louie last nite. but really i dont wanna go back. there's really nothing there 4 me. danis gone. courtneys gone. i dont look 4ward 2 anything there. i know im gonna go back 2 shit. im not gonna eat again when we go back. i need 2 starve awhile cuz here ive been eating kinda normal n i feel so guilty and disgusting. thats like the only good thing of going back is im gonna start sneaking out again 2 run in the dark. i wanna cry but this house is full of so many ppl i have no privacy. i know its only a year till were gonna be back here again, 4 good, but still im so depressed.