this weekend...was...well...unforgettable... i will never 4get it..and thats a promise... i dont know why i let you et me so upset..i dont know who i feel the way i do...i cant help but love you....and wish u felt the same...every morning i cant wait to see your gorgeous face in school..and have u hug me...but at the same time...i dont want to go to school because i know i'll see you with her...and that hurts me more than explainable....i try so hard to keep myself from falling...i try so hard to keep myself from getting hurt...but i cant help it...i cant change how i feel about you...no matter what..i cant explain it.... Why do i let bois upset me so much...the problem is i become to attached...i expect to much of people..i expept people to love me as much as i love them...care for me as much i care for them...give as much as i gvie 4 them....but than i end up felling like this...so dead...so numb...why must i be like this? why cant i be someone else? why cant you hea my desprate cries? I long to tell you all the things i feel....but im scared to death that maybe...ill give you my heart...and it will end like it always does....a girl with a broken heart, a broken soul, lost, confused, unsure to why people have to be so crewl...i've done nothing but ben there for you..to help you....to hold u...but at the same time...its as thow you dont care for me at all...i try so hard...but all i do is fail...plese forgive me for being such a failure....im sorry. Im sorry for the way i am...i cant help it...its not like i wanted 2 be this way...i dont wanna bne a fuck up... you think i do this for attention....but thats not what i want..i dont want you to see my scars..i try so hard to hide my pain..but i cant..its to hard...i am weak...i can not go on...this is not how i should live... the last thing i want is your pitty...keep it..i dont need it...if you cant see that i only hurt myself so you cant...than fuck you...i dont need you...i dont need to put up with you....but at the same time..i cant live without you...please someone..save me./..my biggest fear has gotten to me..i am scared 2 death...the bigest fear is something i cant hide from..i cant hide from myself..i cant hide from the world...i cant hide my feelings...you've killed me..i've kille myself for letting you hurt me so much... i have so much to live for...but at the same time..i have no reason to live...save me...save me from the person i've bcome...save me from the things i feel....theres nothing i can do now...i cant change what i've become...thank you....for making me this way... ...jennifer...