WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL MY FIRENDS...NOW I DO I SUPPOSE TO KNWO WHERE MY FIRENDS ARE!!!....THATS BULSHIT !!!..well anyways i thoguht it was time to update u kno. school is about to start and i can wait cuz i dont wanna start already. Boys...umm so many dont know where to start from you know ?....Just put it like this..im getting taking care of pretty well u know ? As far as y family..im not tlaking to my dad because his bithces seem more im portant than m. He took my lil bros and his gurlfirend to wisconsin dells without me so i was pretty hurt but hey he does whath e gotta do..Well me and my mom were on cool terms i just think its a point where we have those complications u kno??....but i just cant wait itl school is over with..but any ways hollas at me with those comments..drina

i feel soooo bad that i havent wrote in this diary in god knows how long. But i will update. Nothing much has been going on i just got a big relief last night but it kindda hurted. THis guy ive been really into on and of since oct. said that he wouldnt really want a relaitonship...he said we would be better off friends or whatever. In a way i feel that would be cool u kno. haave u ever felt like sometimes u really like this person but werent quite sure u guys would be compatible in a relaitonship becauase of other reasons...thats how i felt u know ?...but enough of that...i have bigger issues..im kindda etting pushed to move to cali...itsn othat i dont wanna but i have a life here even thoiugh i would liek to start over and alll but i dont know. My mom is even bitchier ..i swear i just dont know what to do !!!!!....anyways im out drina

Wats up Diary...been a looonng while Well i finally feel good aobut my self because im liking someone that wants to be with me and that think i could be happy with..including the ups and downs...nothing much has been going on with me ..my moms is still trippin and all saying she is goign to put me out when i get 18..im like you dont..im leaving my damn self ...hahaha..I've never known someone mom to chose her boyfriend over her own flesh and blood..me and my bro..but its coo...i thoughti would just stop by and give a lil update..so hollas

yea wassup I have this new thing. I feelthat everything thats been going on in the past is the past...im cleansing my self. not completely but liek all the bad, well most. not the good bad part but the part that makes my life sucks. YOu know its ashame when you fall n love wit your best friends. CAN I GET SOME ADVICCEE HERE!!! its like we play these little mind games but nothing really comes out of what we are doing...we kissed...long as hell...but he said it was liek kissing his sister..bullshit ...when he was the one kissing me ...either he is confused ...or that theory is right...guys hormones take over they're way of thinking.but its all good. Everything is swell at home...and im being my self. SO eeryone holla..drina

HEEEYYY... HAPPY NEW YEAR for those i havent told yet...Everything has been goign cool for ..same ol same ol trouble...new years eve was a blast except i got caught with soo much company in the hosue its ridiuclius how long im going to be on punishment..but thats ok..im used to it..me and evan broke up unfortunately...but we'll get back together just not now...me and my mom is on a elevated communication level i should guess...Has anyone ever had a christmas where their dad idnt get them anything?? well i experienced that for the frst time this year...but hey life goes on...went ot go see meet the fockers yesterday..so damn funny..so whats been up with you guys ..hit me up..hollas

ABout time this it diary worked..i was about to change it...Well so much have been happening....I'm still on punishment for getting caught xuttin...i kno ikno...man...christmas break is coming on friday..so much is goig to happen its ridiculous. Evan m new man..and hopefully for a wile is going to be coming over..guess we'll hang out and all that other good stuff...**winks** So whats been up guys..leave me those messages..o yea leo..u can now add me again...or ill get you.. ok im outs leave messages...

Drinas been having trouble with the sit site so I'm updating for her. Sorry she hasn't responded to any past comments. Hopefully, she will be back ASAP. hey wassup yall..been some time..things have been crazy..well first off im on bigg punishment ...i got caught cuttign class..it hapened like ..my parents were at my school and i didnt know ..so i had cut class and they were looking for me..i was coming from mcdonalds..we have off campus lunch..and as i was oulling in the student parking lot they were coming out..they hurried and stoppped the car and all of a sudden i blacked out..my firends said my mo mhit me like 4 times..so yea..and then afterwards..my mom took me to the doctor to get a check up to see if i had sex..well i havent ..so yea..im like on crazy punishment....ive been kissing every guy i like ..and yea i kno..but hey..i cant help my feelings..so whats been up wit you ppl???..werll anyways holla back....

hey..another lng time..thats ok..i have more updation to give ya..anyways things have been going so/so.....well jamal(my ex)is a realy kiss ass and a kick ass...he is tryna ruin my life an my whole partnership with other guys...it is soo stressful..im dating this oter guy..he is ok...but its this guy i met on the bus named ronal..so cute and jus soo noce...kills me how we weret together..but everything is like "a ok"..haha thing with m mom are so ot like.swell..but its ok...guess what !! im doing my firstconcert..wanna come and see m ..call me ok well hllas

hey ..man its been some times...school is like really akick ass...i have been through every thing these past weeks...lets see..first off i went back t school....still have feelings for tha same 'ol ex that i broke up wit when school ended...dumb me...welll i thoguht we were goig t get back together..proved me wrong...we didnt. HBe now goe with this gurl robin..she is cool..i dont know her so well, but they dont make a pretty good couple if uasked me..well anyways ...he told every 1 that i sucked his dick..why ? because my mom kind of cursed him out of what happened last yearof why i broke up wit him...(he still was in love with his ex)soo anyways..moms hold grudges...i was soo mad at him..i swear i cursed him out soo bad..then he said he was sorry and told everyone that it didnt happened he was jus mad at me ...well anyways ..robin wants to fight me now..unn why she jus does...andalso i eard her talking to her ex tellin him that she doesnt go with jamal and that he be calling her..so they were arguing...shuld i tell jamal??? well anywas..i go wit this guy evan..i dunno...i dont feel as if were right...i jus went wit him toget ver jamal and make him made..im uca a lame...haha oh well..i hope it works..good lluck..thngs with my mm are still bad...matter of fact..WORSE...but everyhing is everything...jus two more years and ill be out tis btch..wll..guys thats much of the updtion..oh yea ..got in my first fight last night and kick some as..at a football game.had to back my friens up..it was fn..me nd evan fist kiss..so sweet..butok hollas..drina

wassup...hhmm been minute.well jus got back orm cali. it was "alright" not much there for me ..too uch of the city life.so busy..well aywas ..omehting like alsmot happen while i was thre...jus sy..i was hnging with an ex..boy firned..liemy frst love..but not my first kiss..ll..wll anyways nothing hppen because..immsoo young..even though it gonna happen..me ad my mo still not talkin...she is in hawaii now with her "newman "wonder what they are doing..well whatever..school starts tomorrow and she int even goig to be there on the firstday of my junior year..oh well who cares..gotta take brotoschool..as usual..well ayways..i will totally upate u later on..gtta go meet thisguy i met..haha thtas a=nother story..ok hollas

well sup diary. There is like much to tell ya..well first he update with my mom ..FUCKING LAME we are definitely not talking...i so not approve the guy she is dating. She introduced me to him and I didn’t say hi..and she was like aren’t you going to say hi ladrina and I said "I didn’t know I had to" and left...so when they got back from what they were doing she fussed at me. I don’t talk back cuz i know she'll smack the shit outta me but no biggy...so like 2 hrs ago I was talking to this guy i have been talking to for like 2 weeks naw..maybe week an half. But anyways..my mom comes up stairs fussing at me for no reason. She is like I know ur talking to some lil hormones raging lil boy.. i was like yea im talking to a guy...and all and she takes my cell and hangs it up. So im like watever..then i screamed down stairs saying I don’t get mad i get even( I was going insane)...if ya know what i mean. well anyways...this guy he is nice and all...he was living in cali the same time as me. So yea he is pretty descent and all. Only thing is he doesn’t have a car..soo yea..but its ok…the personality is what matters the most… well yea im pretty dead right about now ..im dead but im alive.. cuz ppl can still see, hurt, and deceive me so ..pretty much yea. .man.. school is going to suck this year.. I can feel it ..anyways im going to go now ..Drina

hey diary i really need to tell ya something...ut ii dont have ...this is really ad..aas in i lamost were dead..but it miy fault.. i will update later when i get back..bye

umm ..her diary..ok...this is something i must admit to..ok i kno givin all the advice to all the pppl and cool friends ive met on here..just hasnt been taking into my own..ok just to stop beating around the bush..the other day i took 7 tylenols..intentionally...i would have ooken he whole bottle but my bro came in..i think it was u kno god saying something..but its crazy..he was like whoa..i have know idea what was doing..and now that i look back im like damn..ok...so dont be mad or anything ..like everythign thing is cool now...just not to let mom find out...its just weird how u never live by what you say..bye

YO YO YO...man i am ssoo back from arizona..so lert me update for u cats ..well well well...when i first got there it was alright ya know...then after my first concer i di an ashlee simpson ad tripped but this was a big one..i sprankged my ankle..im ok now..but held me up for the other 3 shows and PARTIES!!!!!!!! what i hated that i missed them..well i went to one hotel party the night before last..it was juking...hot guys..really hot guys...anywas ...we did soo much stuff..m and the tour guys...welll we plyed ding dong ditch in the hotell...it was sosooo bigg..too funny..we got caught so many times..thatwas fun...we made friends with these britsih gay guys..they were ssooo funny but erally cool ad complexive..tehy were fine tooo !!! well we let them loose to go and do what hey wer goign to do in they hotel room..it was 17 of them..ssooo gross..next...oh yea...we walked in popeyes drive thru..hahah now that was soo fun i almost pissed on mysef because the lady scared the shit out of us...she juped up in the glass..guess she seen me coming..ive alway wanted to walk thru a drive thru...welll besides all the other stuff like goign ot to eat(boring) lil other stuff promtion and all that stuff(broing) it was an ok trip....we mt tese newlyweds..guy was drunk as hell..h gave me a hug and his wife cursed him out on the way up the elevator..we could here her..haha...he was like how do they know we are married..she was like because we have on our wedding cloths ..he was lke oh yeaui forgot....well some of the tour guysgot arrested for smoking weed in the parking lott..they were really gone..it was kidda funny..oh yea we were on an long road soo we were acting like w were hitchhiking and coule of ppl stoppped..hahah we ran...welll thats about it ..arizona was boring besides the hotel and shoppin...at the end of the month gotta leav again for florida and cali..ssoooleave me a comment my fellow friends

hey.... the couple of days i havent wrote in my diary..i have been played and all that shit.... dude i wrote a song for this guy...and he took the shit and didnt evn pay me ..so now we are going through shit with that..i found out my mom doesnt trust me ....se thinks that im sleping around jus because i snuck and got my belly pierced..mom jus to let u kno..im still a virgin..when she foudn out she went bizarre..i had it for months..but she found out...so now she doesnt trust anything i do or say..and that realyl hurts...i tol her jus to make her feel bad too..that its not personall i trust no one..she gotreally pissed...she hadtold me she would kick me out the house..i dont care..i have a car to live in..well its been crazy..my pops didnt have much to say cuz eknew already..i feels like .. no one knows me or under stan me ..so how could they judge me and the things that ido..especially before u sit down and try to get to know a person..i ko i may not open up as wuick..but at least i ould be reasonable with you..dont tlak tome lk imsom typ of piece of shit liek u own me ..thats bull shit..and when ever i try to speak my mind..soemthing holds me bak...so for know on im not goign to try to impressany one or prove any one anything thing..just as long as i know it myself..thats all that matters..while i was gone i wrot liek 9 poems..here is one...give me holla Test the water,water of the ocean flow so deep,flow with motion sometimes its hot, sometimes its cold i liek it warm so u want wipe or u want fold Skin so soft, touch me baby speak the words that drives me crazy Rub me down,caress my body hear my moan feel my jumps' u make me feel, i am somebody your here with me ,we love each other love so quiet, but not undercover u feel my needs ,i feel ur needs put it together ,we have two seeds go out and hang, have some fun get a tan up under the sun just make sure it doesnt get to late my words dont mean shit, u came in a 8(am) its been a wonderful two years, great anxiety last couple months, i've blinded me i failed to see what was really going on until one night u didnt come home Great distress is what i feel your heart so cold, must be steel how could u do this , how could u leave us did ths relationship have any trust said u needed space ,that u needed time how much time u need, im about to unwind it's been one year no word from you got a call heard ur married in malibu tell the kids i loved them to the last breath hoped they believed me when i said i loved them to death im flying over the bridge ,im almost there and when u see my body, be polite dont stare i tested the water, the water of the ocean i flowed so deep, but moved with motion the water was warm ,and i wondered why the same reason i wondered why women make men cry

im caught up ..dont know what to do..its feel like ive been captured ..but dont know by what.Deep down i kno something is in there but i cant seem to dig deep enoguh to find it. every time i try to dig i get drowned, drowned by the tears..tears of sorrow, tears of regrets, tears of why am i living. im a waste of breath..no one cares...cares to kno what i care about ..and why i feel this way...no one looks this way..only when i have something they want..tehy take it use it..ask for more..im worthless..worthless because im stressed..worned..used..thats how u wanted me right? well gues what your dream has come true..hope u live it good ..because im suffereing..suffereing what i shouldnt suffer..i didnt ask for this ..but i guess u dont get what u ask for or else you would be the one suffering. you brought me down..down so far u have me kissing the bottom of your ass ..but guess what...i fooled ya...im not low ...im high...the highest ever...now you are kissing my ass..you see me now ..im what you always wanted to be and more than you would ever be ...i stand tall..im the greatest...word of advice..next time you bring some one down..make sure u shit smells good...because now u are smelling mines

hey wassup.. i kno its been a long time and all but its been a lot going on .Well i have been runing across soem bad things...Eric hasnt call me since then..i wonder wht i should do.. Should i let it jus go (dont wanna)or stay attatche amd jus wait. He is a really nice guy..i mean i wouldnt understand why he wouldnt callfor two weeks..maybe he is tryna tell me something...but he hasnt called his aunt ither..and they arel ike extra close. Guess im not to good with relationships.. I maen of course i want to hold on because almost every guy you run across that you think is cool either want soem ASS has cheated on you or jus plan dont know how to be in a relationshiop...which is cool. Do you wanna see a pic of eric..he is really cute to me . Another think is that some guys at the studio like sunday night were tryna hit one me...c'mon now im only 16...they are like in they 20's...and they arerappers ..so they basically can get any gurl...i really didnt wana go to that hotel with them...but i had to..good thing i had my own room..and knew not to answer the door..they were really high and drunk.I think i need a break from this world..a break from every thing..working 14hrs a day..goign to the studio..shopping all the time...im only 16 and i have like soo much grey hair nad so much stress...too much.sso thats like my basic things..o yea...i got in to a wrestle with this fat ass women.. i mean bigg ass hell...i was doing security for kanye west concert..and she got mad because i had to take her gum and thro it away...cant bring gum in the theatre....so basically my shoulder blades are hurting....wanted to flex her ass but couldnt... Tell me something diary... do u think i will ever be in love ? and with a person that will feel the same as i do ?

Hey diary this fucking sucks man... i wrote soo much and now its gone so i want be doing to much explaining ok. .so like the other day I came home in at like 12 a.m my mom ha some man there and i told her that he had to leave cuz i don’t feel righte with some 1 i damn then even know inside my home yo kno..where im gonna sleep ??? hell naw ..she said that its her company and he can sty as long as she would like him so i was like whatever im sleeping in the outhouse ...so like we argued bout that and of course i won sleeping in the out house.. i went to go and get jc so he could stay with me cuz im a lil coward ya know how that is ...haha..so like yea..i woke up he wasn’t there (the man). I went to use my moms bathroom cuz i wasn’t going to make it to mines and i found not one not two but three magnum wrappers on the floor. .the floor ?//(magnum wrappers are condoms for those who don’t know ) well anyways i didn’t confront her bout it because i would get even worst than what i were ..I went to my room and cried like a lil bitch.. damn its funny when u cry.. u start thinking about a lot of shit in the future ,past , and also the present so like yea...she told me that he asked her to marry him and i jus walked away...i don’t think ill know how to deal with her getting married. If she does ill jus move back to cali with my aunt where everything was everything and I didn’t have to worry bout family problems ya know.. so like yea.. im not talking with her. and like I have much more issues to resolve so this isn’t like the best time of my life now ..not that I even get any of those so like yea. .ill tell you about the other ones later.. ok love muches

yo diary i am soo tired and worn out. Idont even knwo why i am up this morning. Yesterday....i had to work 14 hrs. thats like my whole life. Well i worked at the office from 10 am 10 5 pm . The i went to the thater which is down the street... De La Soul and LuDacris was in town..had to do security. It was hell..they were calling women upon the stage and everything...fighting with them... i wish i could jus give up. This isnt wat i wanan be in life...but my father insist that i do this...so when he past away i could run his compnay. I hate doing things that i dont want to do..makes me hate my self even more..im hoping that one day i could come back to reality to live the life i want tolive and not wat some 1 else wants me to do. Today and yesterday i still havent talked to eric..usually he would be online... wonder and worry about him much.... i hate to see us just not talk... life really sux.. i fucking hate it..nothing goes right in this crooked as world. bye

It has been really hard these past couple of days. Ths guy that i really like and we really like one another has went back home...althoguh we live in the same state...thigns arent just the same. Well we no one another..btu we would talk online everyday...well see he wa at his aunt house..who seems to be very awesome..she lives in wisconsin. It would be jus fun jsu talkign to them all the time.. and i really started to liek him.. and my interest in him has gotten deeper. Feelign the way i do its going to be hard for me to let go.. if i have to. I dont know ..should i have gotten as close to him as i did ? Well since he moved back home we only talked once..which was last nite..he got home mnday. im not trying to rush or anything but it was just awkward.His family is soo cool... and sweet. I dont wanna not tlak to him...even if we coukd jsu be friends i wuld let that be. He says he is sorry he was jus getting adjusted at home... i truly understand that. WEll im also havign a lil school problem... they are tyna make me stay a sophmore again because i changed schools.. i was always in a private school... i started school late so they had finally decided to put me in my right grade..so i never went to 7th...so now that im goign to a public school...they said they would have to put me in the grade i should be in...it really sucks. i dont know what to do.and for this guy eric i wrote a poem about him here it goes ERIC JULY 2004( the name) When im consciously in pain You pop up and remind of the sun without the rain It’s hard to believe but yea it’s true To meet a guy like you, who would have knew? We can argue just to make up, it would be cute all the time Cant wait until you sing those songs for me, I’ll like ‘em even if they don’t rhyme You remind me of a perfect world, Perfect human beings Us not talking, is like the whip without the cream I think its really cute and funny how we say we missed one another Makes me realize the precious we could have with each other Your very funny, loose, straight up, and have nothing to lose I’d pick you out of all guys , if I had to choose Your like a brother and best friend with the feelings on the side Feelings?….. Uncontrollably I definitely can’t hide One day I wish I could hold you, comfort you the way couples do Show the love you know….make you trip over my shoe There can be no one like us, and there will never be I wonder does he know this and feel the same way about me