Things are starting to escalate quite quickly and this story is looking to stay alive until March. I'll be out of this ditch and have successfully dragged most of pi totes and furniturehalf a mile I. The snow to where I was stuck in the snow. I have to come back though, and I now have to come back with the police to make sure things stay civil because of the impression they are leaving me. So rather than fight them both and risk them using their guns or something stupid I'm just going to get the authorities involved and request a property removal order for Mid-March. They have more to lose than I do because I have given up on the stupid attachment I had to fixing the farm up. It's too much work and at odds with them all the time. And their addiction and fickle behaviors are getting worse. Everyone else in the family is telling me to get out and that if had been them or anyone else in the family they had left or ended up in a violent situation the first month there if that. I'm ok with this being a personal failure. I just really wish it had ended differently just because of the wasted potential. I never thought my Dads warning would manifest itself in my family, even though he warned me of my mother's side of the family a long time ago. Was I feeling sorry for them? Or trying to mourn my own loss by distracting me with their shitty situation wishing I could fix both in some strange way. One thing I will say getting clean here was the best thing that could have happened to me because I'm watching two people in the throes of their own daily addiction and depression. And it's just sad. I looked up to my cousin Jon when I was 9-13 and it's so sad to see this. I though Uncle Ricky was just a lazy genius never given a shot and have know learned he's just man sullen in his own shortcomings and self sabotage. The fact he's ruining his Sons life to this day and the fact that whenever Jon would say that in a drunken rant yet never taking him seriously about it until now. He was right. And let me tell you, my mother is no CUNT actually she's a saint because of many times she's stuck her neck out for you in the last year an half when you needed money, to see you forget all of that in the "what have you done for me lately..?" is just horseshit uncle. Not too mention all the other shot I just turn a blind eye to. Like...hm fucking around behind my Aunts back while she fights breast cancer for example? Never mind. This is why men get a bad fucking wrap in this country. You have idiots like these claiming their masculinity and no one to check them with reality of just how weak they really were. The fact my mother and my aunt could give this guy so many breaks goes to attested mental strength. This guy couldn't have any faith if you paid him to fake it.
-be well my friend