Why do I do this? I have so many options and I'm just not happy with any of them...I don't even wanna write in this, but I don't really have a journal so I'll continue. Basically I want what I can't have. Its ridculous that I think I still have a chance when I so obviously don't. It's quite pathetic actually. I've actually fucked myself over. I always have this sick feeling cause I know I just want things to work out but they won't, they never do. I want to vomit but can't, hoping that it'll make me feel better but I know it won't. It's just ridiculous. Thats all I can say...Cya