i am trying so hard not to deal with/think about the things going on in my life right now. i seem to be doing a pretty good job. there have been only a few moments where i have actually let them cross my mind. i fight back the tears.. and move on. fuck. change can be so powerful. i don't deal with it well. i've been moved around so many fucking times that i begin to hate change. things seem to take me way too long to get over. there is a For Rent sign on my house now. it went up yesterday. that was weird. i can't believe its really happening. it's official.. that sign proves it. now everyone knows. it's as if that sign just opened up our lives for everyone to see. it might as well read "Our dad moved out and now we are poor and have to move." well atleast our new house isnt a piece of shit with paint chipping off of it.. surrounded by houses that look like skyscrapers compared to ours... oh wait.. nevermind... that is my new house. ha. i am looking forward to living near people that don't let their children walk to Von's [the grocery store where everyone shops]... because it's "where poor people shop." my new neighbor across the street said that one. ..but my family needs to do this. it's for the better.