as if i haven't been feeling disgusting enough lately... someone i know had to say they understood why. he said i've gained weight. well buddy, thanks for the update.. but next time.. say it to my face. i mean atleast Grant just came out and said it. whatever. i really don't care all the much what they have said about it.. all it does is add to the way i feel about it. it's like the extra, uneeded coating of icing on the cake. i just hate the way that my body looks. i can barely stand to look at it without wanting to make myself throw up. i hate this. i guess people are just never satisfied and i need to just learn to live with it. i am always going to point out an imperfection. this is the point where i usually want to blame the media.. but where does that get me? an article in a teen magazine? this is my fault.. and something i need to blame on myself. i need to realize that i made myself this way.. and i have the ability to change it. ... that's a lot harder than it sounds. oh yeah.. and this is not just me fishing for compliments from people. this is my journal.. and i am just expressing my feelings. so basically.. if you don't agree.. don't leave me comments telling me. in this situation my opinion overpowers yours.