I feel sorry for the person in the story, its kinda odd, and sad. Your a good writter, just need to twink up some of the details in it and it would be perfect:)
Always,
Charles

Wow. I just read all of the story. It is aamzing. It may be amatuer writing, but it is still amazing. I love the idea of it and how much meaning you put into it. It's wonderful.
You are now a Friend.

Aimee