wow. february 2008. who'da thought the time could fly so fast? this time last year i was panicking about my gcse's, now im shitting myself about my a-levels. perhaps i should try a novel idea - work. *shudders* but not doing work is sooo much more attractive! but if i dont do work, i'll fail my a-levels, then i won't get a place at the uni i want to go to, then i won't get a decent job that i enjoy.... jesus christ, not doing work sure has some repurcussions. bugger. the really annoying thing is that this train of thought is not actually going to change the way i study. i'm just gonna carry on, drifting through life as i always do. well, it's worked so far.

well here we are again - the beginning of another fun filled year. except that this is my GCSE year. crap. i'm sure i'll sure i'll survive, but its the build up and the waiting and the teachers yelling at you to 'REVISE REVISE REVISE'! i'm sure it must be some kind of hell. especially since i have my ACTUAL english language GCSE next wednesday and then the friday after. IN JANUARY. its not fair! all so we have 'more time to complete our literature coursework'. pah. time to go xxxxxxxxx

help me! mock GCSEs need to die. at least my german oral is OVER. it was awful. meh, im sure i'll live .just. ho hum. study leave during mocks is cool but kinda boring. meh. maths calculator paper later. crap. haven't revised (when do i ever?). but maths is my worst subject ever. and i'm hoping to take it for A-level. HAH. like that's ever gonna happen. piss. meh well. i like that word. meh......... MEH. hehe. friends are telling me to go. so i go. bye xxx

hey. i just took a personality quiz thing. here's what i am. You are a Genuine Creator. About You You are a Creator Your imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR. You are independent, and you enjoy your self-sufficiency. Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination. The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas. You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there. Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations. You're not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems. You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful. Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity. You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time. Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you. If you want to be different: Appreciate the earthly, practical elements of things—there is beauty in form as well. While you are good at thinking abstractly, focusing on details a bit more may help you discover things about the world. How You Relate to Others You are Genuine Your outgoing personality, your preference for order, and your cautious appreciation of others makes you GENUINE. You aren't afraid to be the center of attention. Actually, it is quite the opposite: You are comfortable and confident in social situations. As a charismatic kind of person, you tend to be energized by other people and enjoy their company. When other people are upset, you are able to think about the situation rationally, without getting too caught up in their feelings. At times you find it difficult to understand where other people are coming from, and wish they could just see things the way you do. You are a strongly principled person who believes in right and wrong. This helps you make decisions easily when it comes to moral issues – you don't have to waste time hedging on important values. In your experience, people tend to get what they deserve. So, you work hard and try to follow your principles in your day-to-day life, knowing that you will be rewarded for your efforts. If you want to be different: You have many friends, but you only trust a few of these people when it really counts. Opening yourself up to more of your friends will help you create more strong and meaningful relationships. Be cautious when judging someone—try harder to understand his or her perspective—and you will become a more intuitive person. Your Personality Chart »Glossary of Traits This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Confidence 32 Openness 60 Extroversion 48 Empathy 30 Trust in others 10 Agency 94 Masculinity 38 Femininity 32 Spontaneity 56 Attention to style 84 Authoritarianism 28 Earthy/Imaginative 6 Aesthetic/Functional 70 all of these things are out of 100. this may have changed how people think about me. a lot. sorry. bye xxx

hey there. dont you love the pwettiful new background pic, and the header pic? well i don't care if you dont coz i do so there. my hand is normal today, so that stops you people wondering about that. at the moment, i am listening to 'Marvo Ging' by The Chemical Brothers. hehe. marvo ging. funny name. *giggles to self* .....anyway. am alone at home coz my brother is playing rugby and my parents have gone to watch him play two matches in the freezing cold. mad people. i am being sensible (for once) and staying inside in the warm. i am supposed to be looking for stuff about some artist guy called david shepherd for my art prep work....CRAP. my 10 hour art exam starts on tuesday. it lasts for five hours on tuesday and another five on wednesday. joy. all i have is a random ideas page and some pictures for my artist research. i can't actually find out anything about this david shepherd guy, except that he painted pictures of african wildlife. such a great help. aahhh! two weeks time i am going to germany! to stay with tobi! i am fucked. i cant speak german. i can read it and write it, but ich kann nicht es sprechen! o well. as long as i remember to take my dictionary(which tobi borrowed all the time he was here bless him, even though he didnt need it as much as i do) i should be alright. now i am listening to 'Coffee and TV' by Blur. i love this song. *sings* yes i'm singing to myself. do you have a problem with that? i'm rambling, and should probably stop. bye xxx

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha this is raz and i would like to tell you that my friend aisha here *points to the right* has a little bit of, ahem, a problem. HER HAND SPASMS! it's kind of cool actually. it only does it when she is cold or when she gets cramps (after lots of writing), but you should see her trying to use a drill. wahey! yes, she did indeed let me do this entry, she is sitting here watching and might kill me in a minute, but this entry is entirely legal. perhaps. she would also like to inform you that she has been doing lots of exams recently and that exams suck bottoms. well, that was mainly raz saying that, but no-one has to know. damn. aisha says it too though. thankyou raz, for that enlightening entry. yes, it's me again. writing on my OWN diary now. it's all true. about my hand i mean. and exams. the one thats making my hand spaz now (yes, it's spazzing right this minute as i write) was.....THE EVIL BIOLOGY. i hate biology. it sucks. never mind what it sucks, it just does. i think raz wants to say some more. thats her *points to left* in case you'd forgotten.she hates you if you have. aisha, don't lie. i don't hate them, i just want to beat them over the head with a spade. NOT the same thing. not that i am violent or anything. yes, well, just because i write too much and i ramble on and on and no-one listens anymore. haha. wait, that's not funny. in fact it's quite sad *cries* see what you ungrateful people have done to her? i don't know what your ungrateful for (i haven't given you anything...except a good read).

hey there everyone! yeah, i no. i haven't updated in ages, but there we go. like i said, new year, old habits. what can i say. my life's boring. full of crap. truth be told, not even full of that a lot of the time. my life is empty, empty i tell you, empty......... *clears throat* sorry about that. bye xx

Tobi went home on Sunday morning, and i really miss him! he wasn't a geek after all, he was so sweet. awww i love him. i gave the biggest hug ever when he went and me and my friend sarah cried loads when all the german people left. we want them to come back!!! i can't belive i have to wait until march to see them all again. its sooo sucky. *sniffs* ahh well i just have to live with it. bye xxx

HELLO EVERYBODY! yup, i'm back. bet you missed me dincha? nah, probably not, but neva mind. OMG on the 6th of november i have a german person coming over for a week as part of the german exchange. it's a boy! aaaggghhh! he's called...wait for it...Tobias. or 'Tobi' for short. help me. aahh well. i'll just have to live with it. i'm soooo nervous, coz i just bet he's going to be really geeky. bye xxx

OMG! I've actually started to update again! It's a miracle! although. i don't have anything to say again. uh...i'd like to start talking to people again, so i would welcome any random comments you might like to put here, thankyou! :-) well, thats it really. bye xxx

wolves and tigers, tigers and wolves. that's what my dreams are made of. and occasionally ravens. but they represent evil and being trapped. wolves and tigers are life and freedom. the ravens are always fighting with the tigers/wolves. i cant help them. i wish i could do something, but i feel so helpless. wow. this entry turned out longer than expected, but only because i rambled on about some random shit. bye xxx

its true. i am. i have absolutely nothing to say, because i have no life. i can see this being a short entry. bye xxx (observe my amazing ability of telling the future)

hi there. sorry i havent updated in ages. i dont have a reason. at least, i dont think i do. weel. even tho i havent said anything in so long, i still dont really have anything to say. soory again. i wonder if i should change my background etc. im gonna go now. bye xxx

nothing. i said nothing. for fucks sake why are you still reading? i dont have anything to say, so i thought i'd be annoying, but it wasnt as much fun as ithought it would be. so......... what are you waiting for? tell me how fucking stupid i am. go on... you know you want to. bye xxx

hello to evryone. nothing much interesting has happened in my life recently, so theres nothing to talk about. apart from having our SATS this week. we had our science ones yesterday, and today we've already had a non-calculator maths paper and a mental maths. omg, the mental maths was so easy! here is an example of a SATS mental maths question: "how many nines are there in 54?" hmmmmmmmm, i WONDER. so there we go. err.... bye xxx

i know i've already posted an entry today, but im bored. of course, this means that i dont know what to say, so i'll say goodbye. xxx

hi. i did something really weird last night. i was going up to bed, and i almost fell down the stairs. then i just started saying random stuff. this is what i said: oops, nearly fell over, i dont wanna fall over, or maybe i do. i'll fall over backwards and hit my head and then everything will go black and i'll go all floaty dreamy and not wake up for ages. *giggles* and then i'll wake up in hospital because one of my favourite songs wil be playing. and i'll laugh because it will be my love of music that brings be back to life. *giggles* and then they'll all think i'm mad and lock me in a mental institution forever because they think i've gone insane. *giggles* but really i'll have gone sane, and that is just unbearable, because then you can see every lie, every covered up murder... *giggles* i love you xxx

well,im back, i guess. sorry i havent updated in a while, but we had a two week break and i havent had the chance. the first week i was over at my grandads with my mum, coz we had to look after him. the second week i was on holiday in majorca. during that holiday week, i did absolutely shit all. well, as far as my family could see. i was actually mentally pounding my brain, trying to unblock my mind. it kinda worked. i think. just give me a while and i reckon i'll have new things to write about. if i dont kill myself trying to get my feelings out before i get a chance to... damn, lost my train of thought. i also think its time to change the look of my diary so there we go. im feeling kinda confused bout life at the moment. still. i dont no whats real and whats not anymore. im living in a dreamworld thats halfway between reality and, er, dreams. sorry if im worrying anyone, (especially my prophet) but i cant say whats wrong coz i dont no myself.(im sure ive already said something like this, so sorry for the repetition if i have.) bye xxx

i want to say something but i dont know what. *screams in frustration with self* grrrrrrrrrr! i dont know what to say! thats it! i have gone insane with lack of things to say! i am now about to go into the stage where i start beating myself up in my head. ......... help? ~~~~~~ o my god what have i done? i have just half killed myself because im so annoyed at my head. i can see myself inside my head, im lying on the floor in a corner somewhere dark, bleeding and crying. is this what i am to become? i call out to anyone who calls themselves my friends. please dont leave me. prophet, perhaps you can help? please? i dont know how many times i have said 'please', but its way too fucking many. bye xxx

ummm... i cant believe i still dont have anything to say. i still cant think of anything (interesting or not) to write. does anyone have any ideas as to what i can do? anyone? please? well, if not, dont be expecting many entries worth reading from now on. unless i find a way to fill my head up again. the only thing i can tell you is how every possible muscle in my body aches. ah well. see ya then. bye xxx