My life is all messed up right now... Theres this guy that id never thought id miss but for some strange reason i cant stop thinking about him... I have mixed feelings for him i both love and hate him... its weird but i dont really think ne thing of it cuz we already tried going out and it was fun till i fucked everything up...but o well im over that... Lifes a bitch... Ya but i lyke this other guy A LOT! hes nearly perfect for me exept for the fact that he already has a girlfriend...damn... =( Im gonna go write something i*ll post it on here when im done if it*s any good. peaceee =) :::LiNdSaY::: -H-I-M- is by far my fav band there lyrics are AMAZING! and im INLOVE with Ville Valo for writting them ! Theres not one song that i dont lyke by them. yes and i would give anything to fuck ville... =)

is dead.

dont let go of this feeling I'm thinking about you every second i promise always remember this. i dont want things to change

i want to run away to him like i promised him i would but then i remember i cant hes not there... hes not in that room we layed in all day together anymore.. not smoking behind the church were he snuck into school to see me not in the library where we would ditch school together not in our spot by the stairs not in the chair in the back of the room where i went to talk to him for the first time hes gone

add me on myspace- http://profiles.myspace.com/users/8844613 add me on live journal - http://www.livejournal.com/users/__imaginaryx/

Im beginning to find these online journals stupid and useless or maybe i just feel that way about my words. most of my closest friends dont even know whats going on inside my head right now. i always keep everything inside becuz the fear of annoying people with my complants and making people think i just want attention. Garrett ran away in the middle of the night on thursday he was found later that day but there was a time that i thought i would never hear his voice again. it still hurts. he doesnt know how bad he fucked up his life by even just running away for one day. part reason he ran away was cuz my mom wouldnt let us talk anymore. now hes grounded from the phone and everything else til christmas he only made things worse for us. im so mad and i feel so alone i dont want to lose him but i know its going to happen. Why do people let themselves fall inlove?

You are Sandy! Which SLC Punk are you? brought to you by Quizilla i know you can hear my screams.. i can hear them echoing through out your thoughts. when your alone at night they haunt your dreams turning them into nightmares... dont pretend that you've forgotten... i know you'll always remember me. ******************************************* i tangled our love up in spider webs and got barried in this rotting ground i can hear echos of millions of decaying angels dying screams through the walls of my lonely grave and there calling me ********************************************* i lost my sanity tonight and put it under my pillow hoping the acid fairy would come and bring me some more ^haha me and krista came up with that one o_0 some pics I've never been to a grave yard at night before. something about the idea intrigues me. Tommorrow is my favorite day out of the entire year Halloween! ^.^ - i just watched Slipknots new video "Vermillion"...its amazing

this love... beautiful like dead rose petals falling to a rotting grave. you are my first. like a tunnel of darkness which at the end consists of endless light...like a dead angel decaying with a razor in one hand. you are my only. ^under construction

my words cant express how i feel right now...they dont even come close...yet here they are. your words whisper softly like millions of knifes stabbing at my neck how could i hate what i once loved so dearly? its so hard to forget...its all i think about. it isnt real. you've isolated my words,my mind,my soul. i am now left with nothing but a dead world where you are the only god. i want to scream my lungs out, i cant stand these blades as they corrupt my torn skin...i cant exape this.

give me a reason... i want to pull the trigger so bad will it hurt? only for a second,it wont matter in the end. it wont matter in the end... an angel died today, i saw her hit the ground. and oh how bad i wanted to fall with her...i felt what she felt in her last moments...and oh how bad i wanted to fall with her. emptyness ill never be happy, ill be waiting for you forever. ill never be happy again. i sit here crying now... wont you please send someone to save me? nobodys listening

i killed myself today. you can vist me in my rotting coffin filled with unwanted memories - i cant forget i cant forget. my body was never found, only a shattered spirit with the words " forgive me " carved into its torn skin. dozon dead roses lay upon my cold grave they were always your favorite you ask me if im happy now we dance wildly below a dying storm spinning round and round holding eachother above the decaying ground and we fall like shooting stars and make a death wish. - forgive me, its been awhile since ive written anything. -

ive felt this pain before and it tears my heart apart slowly each time its felt. it seems to hurt worse this time though i feel as if im breaking into millions of tiny pieces..theres almost no memory of me at all ( at least not in your mind ) i want to erase everything i know and everything ive learned, i want to disappear and reappear in another place, i just want to start over, exape. i isolate myself from the world, locked in my room.. those four walls surronding me are the only thing that matters now. i fade away with the distant voices of my idols screaming into their mics with a razor blade in my bloody hands...its over now. edit 1:30pm:: jenn photoshoped the header pic of me thanks jenn ^.^ <3

YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME YOUR KILLING ME

36 more days till halloween! ^.^ me and my friend jennie are gonna be dead fairies = ) im grounded on a friday night =( fuck parents...

if only you could take back stupid words and pathetic mistakes... if only i could drain every remaining feeling that you give me, erase every memory that i cant seem to let go of. i wish i could chose what i think about. latley only one thing remains going through my fucked up mind. i am not sure why i keep making the same mistakes again and again.. i am far from human, i am far from perfect. ( still cant find what keeps me here... ) i feel completly shattered and incapible of controlling my own emotions. its so unfair that someone else has the power to control how i feel. it's 2:15am. i can not sleep, i'll be up all night. "So here we are again The sheets are staind and bloodied The animals scratch at my skin Here we are again My face is scraped and bloodied I've nothing left to give" Pardonnez-moi. I HATE YOU! there is nothing left of me to break R.I.P Attila 9/3/04

http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/silentlybr0ken/ ^check out my new one

i havent updated cuz ive been grounded for having guys over when my parents wernt home. the only way i can go on the comp and use the phone is when i come to my neighbors house cuz i have to watch their dogs cuz there in cali. Me and Jennie finaly got caught having mini parties when our parents arnt home.. it was so bad cuz my mom got home when everyone was still at my house so we snuck everyone out the back door to my room and then my mom went across the street to tell Jennies mom (what a bitch) and we got yelled at for litteraly two fucking hours!

JENNiE came home yestuday =) but we didnt really get to hang out much cuz my grandma is staying over at my house cuz my parents went out of town and dont trust me to be alone... but if i were them i wouldnt trust me either... my mom caught me ridding in the car with guys im surprised she didnt ground me for that.. i*ll update more later.