the cut that never healed

by heartinflamesxx
Feeling: broken
ive felt this pain before and it tears my heart apart slowly each time its felt. it seems to hurt worse this time though i feel as if im breaking into millions of tiny pieces..theres almost no memory of me at all ( at least not in your mind ) i want to erase everything i know and everything ive learned, i want to disappear and reappear in another place, i just want to start over, exape. i isolate myself from the world, locked in my room.. those four walls surronding me are the only thing that matters now. i fade away with the distant voices of my idols screaming into their mics with a razor blade in my bloody hands...its over now. edit 1:30pm:: jenn photoshoped the header pic of me thanks jenn ^.^ <3
Read 49 comments
HEY WASSUP?? HOW HAVE YOU BEEN GOOD I HOPE!!!IM REALLY BORED !!!!!!!!!!!!!PLZZZZZZ W/B
[Anonymous]
I like your Marilyn quote that pops up when I click on your diary. It's a cool thought.
[Anonymous]
well thats kool that you think like that and i g2g so ill ttyl okkk
MUCH LUV BYEZ BYEZ PEACE!
[Anonymous]
You are welcome, my friend.
Um... Thanx or is that a bad thing that I made you laugh
[Anonymous]
Yes i sux alot
[Anonymous]
Ok, not to sound like an asshole or anything, but how many bands in that band list of mine have you actually heard? Leave me a comment and tell me the names.

And no, it's not a battery, it's a malt liquor can. Duh.
[Anonymous]
to answer your question to Slipknotisgod (Which is the guitarist in our band), Our band is called Forsaken Ritual, and We are metal, and I'm the Lead Vocalist, Lead (Flamespreader) is the bass, and Goat (EvilFlame) is Drums
Look at all the slipknot fans, yes, I think we are ruling the world!
Look at all the slipknot fans, yes, I think we are ruling the world!
it sucks a lot of them time but i've gotten used to it. its just a normal thing for me now. =/

yea you can add me if i can add you :) lol
hey you im really bored w/b plzz
[Anonymous]
awesome popup
I feel that im losing interest in manson for some reason
Maybe because ive been listening to slipknot for the past 2 weeks straight
That is why I have printed most the the diary and scrap-booked it in memory of Attila.
i like ur diary.. and i like the music.. i love afi

[Anonymous]
today just couldnt get anymore boring its soooo damn boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
its funny how everyone is bored today!
[Anonymous]
I choose to not delete my diary entries. I do, however, choose to think of my entry contents somewhat.. more carefully.
yes indeed that is what you see. it's a beautifully-written and awesome movie
You do realize that you have now left a comment on both of my diaries..
deathendreams
atheist

good fun!
:)
-ellen (atheist)
[Anonymous]
We dont have a website yet, but I am gonna try making one for us, and we are not currently releasing our songs to the public, sorry
-adds you back- YAY! im fighting right now. this is lovely.:) i love winning. tehehehe
I thankyou for your words. I also thankyou for your compliment. I to have added you to my friends list as well. I like your diary. The cherry blossoms look so beautiful with your header picture almsotm like fallen innocence. I love it. You truly seem like an incredable person as well. I love the song on your diary as well..
[Anonymous]
Wow...I take it you really like my story. Thanks for all the positive comments. You asked if it was a true story about me...part of it is true. The part where she gets raped by Roberto in the woods...that's semi-true. Something similar happened to me when I was 13, and he was actually 18 and his name actually was Roberto. And all the problems Maria had with her mom...that's based on all the problems I have with my mom. I also used to cut. Bad.
I don't anymore though...I haven't in a long time.
I like your diary. You're pretty.
Oh, and Manson and Afi kick ass.
-amanda
-blackdove
No new entries?


The result of a backseat romance
-Ellen
serrated knives use to be my choice tool. the good ones are too expensive though, and i tire of buying new ones every time they start to rust or dull.
Whats up with you? Solve.
[Anonymous]
[anonymous (195.92.194.12)]
please leave your name
yea i get what youre saying. AFI has unbelievable talent like no other band i have heard
[Anonymous]
Sadly no i did not draw the backround but i wish i did... i also like fairies. their so pretty and wonderful. and also, thank you for liking my music. i like your diary too. and i had your background once but then i changed it and you no how it goes. right? =]

-DeannA-
[Anonymous]
Thick razors or thin? Thin ones usually sting and make me bleed more. With thick razors, I hardly feel anything and I scar more, however, the wounds heal much slower.

I use all sorts of things, really.

Lately, I've been favoring a piece of glass.

.+.Please don't ask if I'm alright. I have been fine so far, now haven't I?.+.
wat is that about wat you wrote??
[Anonymous]
OH OK I GET IT I THINK THAT CUTTING YOURSELF IS A WAY TO REPLACE PAIN I DONT KNOW HOW YOU SEE IT BUT I SEE IT THAT WAY. IM NOT ALL FOR IT BUT IF ITS WAT YOU WANT TO DO I CANT STOP YOU I CAN TELL YOU WAT I THINK I KNOW WERE NOT ALL THAT CLOSE AND WE JUST STARTED TALKING BUTI REALLY DONT LIKE THE WHOLE CUTTING YOURSELF THING AND DONT GET ME WRONG BECAUSE I TOTALLY RESPECT YOU AND ALL BUT ALL YOUR GOING TO DO IS KEEP CUTTING YOURSELF AND IT DOESNT
[Anonymous]
SOLVE ANYTHING Y DONT U JUST TRY TO DEAL WITH YOUR PAIN SOME OTHER WAY AND PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IF YOU EVER NEED ANYONE TO TALK TO ILL ALWAYS BE HERE AND I WILL LISTEN TO WAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IM NOT LIKE A PARENT SO IM NOT GOING TO B LIK ANNOYING AND STUFF SO JUST GET BAC TO ME ON THAT K
MUCH LUV BYEZ BYEZ
[Anonymous]
cool diary
how did you gey that thingy when you enter your site? (the one w/ the marylin manson quote)
Hi. Yea, Jack off Jill is awesome, So is Manson. I like your background though. Very pretty and simple.

~Madeline~
[Anonymous]
ok then well n e ways i g2g so ill ttyl like the next time im on kk Much Luv. byez byez
[Anonymous]
im glad that you didnt get like mad at me for saying that i thought you were going to get mad but like i said i really dont think it solves anything and i just wanted to let you know
[Anonymous]
I am forever buying new blades. That is why I have been using the glass. It doesn't really become dull.
I don't know. It truly depends on my mood.
i just cut myslef trying to shave my legs and i ripped off lik a huge piece of skin!!!lol
its nasty but kool
[Anonymous]
well the thing is i kind of used to thats y i said that it replaces pain for me it used to replace my mental heartache paun with physical pain
[Anonymous]
when you cut yourself it makes you put your attention on you physical pain and makes you forget about your heartache
[Anonymous]
I wish that I could have met darling Attila in person. Ironically, she lived only 3 or 4 hours away from me. I hardly pay attention to detail, and overlooked this. Only recently (two in a half weeks ago) did i realize that we lived so close.
thats good that u dont judge ppl u kno sometimes you just gotta give them a chance and sometimes hey you might just find a true friend
[Anonymous]
people are more alike than they think!
[Anonymous]
people are more alike than they think!
[Anonymous]
Well, I thank thee. It truly is an honor to be associated with someone as amazing as Attila. I, as well, have read all of her entries. Yet, I feel as though there should be more words..
Her diary leaves me puzzled and craving more words from the Hun Princess herself. She will forever be in my thoughts.
well to me it completely makes sense
you just have to hear ppl out give them a chance and youll probably totally agree on stuff u kno wat i mean??
[Anonymous]