ive been meaning to set one of these things up.. and i finally brought myself to do it... I need a place to just write.. today was very dull... I woke up like i do everyday.. and walked into the living room to be welcomed to an empty house again. Its nice, really quiet..but lonely.. so I continued to wake up as i logged onto the internet... last night i couldnt sleep. earlier last night, Erin called, and we talked about her leaving to come home today. She was having a really bad time down there, and i told her to tell her mom how she felt, and she did and I guess her mom let them get plane tickets to come home. So right now shes probably still on the plane, flying thru the clouds somewhere. but the reason i couldnt sleep was because she mentioned that she was with her freind (a guy) driving a golf cart thing around last night, and she said that they played the question game (not sure if you all are familiar with that game) but she said they got "heart to heart" or somthing like that. So me, laying in my bed, started to think about what they might have done or talked about....I know nothing happened and nothing ever will happen... but when your laying in bed with no lights on, alot can go thru your mind. Like I said, nothing was going on, I'm sure of that... but I just get scared somtimes, and my mind thinks about everything that could of happened... then i start thinking about things that might happen.... fuck... i need to stop this.. another reason I couldnt sleep, was because I guess I might not be going somewhere with her for the 4th of july... apparently her parents are saying that i probably wont be able to come... but me, being the person that gets stupid vibes, started thinking about things like " Maby she just dosnt want me to go there for some reason...she didnt seem upset at all about it..." -by the way, I get really wrong vibes from things, so i probably just didnt hear it right or somthing.. im hoping- So hopefully i will be able to go... and im really hoping I do.... I hope she feels the same~ so anyway... shes coming home tonight .. but i wont be able to see her when she gets back.. well I wont see her untill around thursday (fucking wonderful..)...tomarro I am leaving to go to this art program in philly for 4 days... Im kinda depressed about it, cuz I wont be able to see erin for even longer now...but im going to try and make it go by fast.... I hope that i dont miss her too much... it has been 9 days since i have seen her last...and im really missing her.. I hope i have a good time and it goes by fast.. but back to today...signed on to the internet... and talked to a really really good freind of erin's about how i was feeling last night... she reassured me that nothing happened and nothing will ever happen... wich made me feel better... but i really just need erin, I cant wait to hold her again.. i miss her~ I ended up going to town around 2 to go pick up film from the anime convention i went to last weekend.. it came out alright.. I had a blast at that (second year in a row!) maby I'll take Erin next year~ well came back from town.. and here i am now.. hoping that erin's having a good trip back...( i love flying..) and i hope she gets home safe and everything. I dont know if i will talk to her tonight.. but i hope i do.. cuz i need to talk to her~ well.. I might add another entry later tonight if i feel up to it... untill next episode...