There's a site where you can send in anonymous things. It's www.postsecret.com and basically you design a little postcard with your secret on it, send it in, and they'll anonymously post it and it's just a way to express yourself. Since this diary is anonymous anyway, I figure I can write some of my things on here. -I'm 18 and still so terrified of the dark that I sleep with a light on. -I still somehow believe that there's a boogie monster. -I think my life is like The Truman Show and I'm completely oblivious. -I'm pissed that my brother is gay because I wanted a sister-in-law and to be an aunt in the future. Now he's not even planning on adopting. -I'm not 100% sure that my father cheated on my momma but I tell people that he did. -I believe in the Harry Potter-type magical world. -I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't self-harm myself unless I call him first. Since I know he'd guilt me out of it, I'm going to get a second tattoo and endure that pain instead. -I wonder what it would be like to ram my car into the concrete posts under bridges. -I use my pacemaker as an excuse to get out of doing things I don't want to do. -I fear something awful happened to me as a child that I've blocked out and my parents kept from me. -I wanted to be a virgin till marriage but I've let my boyfriend do every sexual act to me without actually having intercourse. -I am an excellent liar and yet I don't really feel bad about it. I lie to everyone in my life. -I think I want to break up with him but I'm too scared because he's once said he was about to commit suicide before me and that he'd die if he ever lost me. -I like to piss him off and get mad when he keeps his patience and tries to make me feel better. -I've picked up my mother's spending habits. I've bounced three checks in one week. -When people give me their opinions, they become my own. Someone told me the only liked books with lots of dialogue and suddenly the same with me. Someone else got nauseous after eating applesauce because of how it felt in her mouth. It happens to me suddenly now too. -It is physically impossible for me to cry in front of another human being. -I don't know what happiness is. -I don't know HOW to be happy. -Sometimes I say "I love you" when I don't mean it. -Misery loves company.