its all wrong [k like 89% wrong] which is almost all i hate my life. i hate everything thats going on. i want to go to sleep. i want to sleep all my problems away. i dont wana have to live thru this all. i dont want to grow up. i want to be a kid forever. please? someone take me to neverland. i dont wana have to do all of this. i hate looking for a job. i hate money. why does it all have to happen at once. with things that just keeeeeep pilling on and on and on. how come? my cars broken. we thought it was simple, easily fixed. but its not. so many many many things are wrong. its going to be around 1500 dollars. my parents have to pay 400 dollars a month on the car payment and half the imsurance. i have to pay for all of my gas and the other half of the isurance. which is 150 a month for half the insurance plus whatever gas costs a month. the dogs just got into a shiiiiiiiiiit load of perscription pills so we had to rush them to the vet to get their stomachs pumped and that was 1500 for both combined. so we dont have money to pay for all the shit problems with my car. i dont have money to pay for all the stuff i have to every month, therefore i had to get a job that i REALLY dont want. id rather work at taco bell, thats how much i dont wana work there. we have no money. but everyone in my family keeps going on about their day as if nothing is happening. this is why i dont want to grow up, i dont wana have to worry about money. i really dont want to have to worry about money. the people that dont worry about money have great jobs, they got the great jobs cuz of their great education, the got the great education cuz they had a great amount of money. end result= you dont start out with money- you dont end up with money. unless yer one of those 1 outa million lucky people that get to have their dreams come true. going to beauty school wasnt me taking the easy way out, it was me finding the cheapest way to gain the most money in the end. i made the mistake of telling my mom that i dont really wana go to beauty school, i really want to be a teacher. but we dont have money to send me to school. but mom said its ok. how is that ok?! thats not ok. i wont let her struggle anymore to put me thru school. id never forgive myself if i became successful while she was left with the bills. and she wouldnt ever let me pay her back cuz it was for school, not for like clothes. and kiefers mad at me i dont know why. i keep fucking up with him. i have the greatest relationship in the history of the universe, and yet i keep screwing it up once everything gets really good. i suck at life. i hate this. hes wonderful. hes awesome. i love him, but i always mess it up. i even messed up saying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i totally fucked that over. came a little close to recking my car on the way home cuz i was hitting myself in the head. i really suck at everything. my grades are bad, as usual. i completely made an idiot out of myself in mock trial tonight. i knew that part backwards and forwards, but when i spoke it all came out wronggg. im horrible. and this whole me always fucking up everything with kiefer is really starting to get to me really bad. i dont know whats wrong with me, but i always end up royally screwing everything up so baaaaaaaaaad. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. huh... i kinda wana make this dumb entry private... its just me complaining about money and all these stupid things that i keep doing that are gay. whatever i guess. i'm just going to sleep now. its 7:30 so what.