So... I've been seeing a psychologist. I only went to her once so far. In the hour, only an hour!!, that I was there... she came up with the conclusion- I should think about going into rehab. Now, I'm 19 and living life to the fullest. So what if I've made a few mistakes in the past and I sometimes feel the urge to have a few drinks or smoke a little bit of pot. It's scary though... because lately... it's been alot instead of a little. I'm high pretty much every single day... no.. wait, not pretty much... I am. If I'm not high during the day... I am at night for the most part of it anyways. That is besides the point though. Where in the past few months did I start to begin to have a problem? Or atleast enough of a problem to have to go to rehab? It's a scary thought... especially for someone my age. It almost makes me feel like I'm crazy or something. I don't know. I've been really depressed lately though. The doctors feel that it's chronic depression. They put me on some "happy" anti-depressant pills and figured that and talking to someone "about my problems" would help and make it all better. But by talking to someone "About my problems" they just realized that it's "worse" than what they thought. So, they figure that by sending me to rehab that it will make me all better and I will come back all better. Hah. Not. I've seen people and know people who have gone to rehab and they weren't nearly as far gone as "they" think I am. They just went right back to the drugs and the drinking, but even harder. I don't know... I just don't know. Everything just seems to be going all wrong for me... but then again, some things are going allright. Like Dave... he's great. Such an awesome person. So caring, understanding, loving, kind, generous, sweet... and he worships the ground I walk on. He seems to believe that I am perfect in every single way. He told me that I don't need to change a thing about myself. That the way I am is how I should always be. He told me that my blunt and crazy outgoing personality is what attracted him in the first place and he would just be unattracted to me if I changed it at all. I dunno... I think I'm going to go now though... I'm feeling tired... need to have a power shower so I can get some energy and get ready for the rest of the day (seeing that it's already 5 now lol).