It amazing what happens in just a short time. In the last month and a half, I have managed to end and begin my life. First of all, I went to visit my dad for Christmas and ended up getting a job offer, which I turned down. My dream job... wow. What the fuck was I thinking? Oh... right... school. Haha. Well, anyways... getting the job offer got thinking a heck of a lot and I decided that my best bet would be to go to school first. So! As of March 6th, 2006 I will be an official student of the Hair Design Academy right here in little ol' Moose Balls, Saskatchewan, Canada! Yay! I'm still not too sure that I made the right decision but I pray to God that it is. I think I probably do need some time to unwind and let loose a little though. There isn't one single person on this entire planet that can be sure of any decision that they make so atleast I know that it's not just me that is walking around totally confused and with a dazzed look on their face. Haha. Another change I made... was to break up with Dave. I just just did that last night and I'm still not ready to quite talk about it but I figure why the hell not?! So, I'm going to. For the past month, or more, all he's been doing is working and wanting to spend time with his friends. So fine whatever, fuck him and his stupid ass friends. Wait, no damnit! I told myself I'd be a good girl this breakup and act mature and responsible about it. Heh. Well I guess everyone gets to have their venting moments. And right now is mine. I don't know. It just felt to me that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. He's got to much on his plate right now, just as I do, and the last thing either of needed was someone else getting in the way. I'd rather just be friends with him and know that I'm going to enjoy my time spent with him instead of fighting with him or arguing about something completely stupid and pointless. The way that I look at it, I need some me time. I'm young, dumb and full of cum (haha). I'm not ready for a full time committed relationship. I want to be able to explore my options freely without feeling guiltly about it or cheating on someone... for that matter. I just want everyone to be happy and noone's feelings to get hurt in the end. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL, I'm done talking about Dave. I have another dilemia that I need to rant and rave about... Okay so, I was over at my grandmother's the other day and we were talking about a past relationship of mine. My grandma is like in love with this ex of mine and thinks that him and I should get back together. But anyways, she asked me the quick questions (where someone asks you like a group of questions as fast as possible and you have to answer them with the first response that pops into your head) about my relationship with Dave, Terry and how I feel. Well it turns out that I still have feelings for Terry... as a matter of fact, I'm finding that I'm falling for him. Not as hard as I usually do though, thank God. It seems to be like a slow process. Which is good. Well, I told him yesterday about my feelings for him. He told me he feels the same way about me but he also isn't quite sure what he wants right now. So, he said we will just take it easy. We both need 'me' time, especially me since I haven't really had much of it. I don't know though. Terry is just so easy to talk to. Maybe I just enjoy his friendship a lot. He's always been there for me, even when we weren't a couple and I have a feeling that he'll probably always be here for me. He's a great guy. I love him... a lot. To think of him with someone else, makes me wonder if I'd be able to handle it. I couldn't when I found out about him and Amber. I just about went nuts. Hah. Look at me, I'm getting all territorial about someone and he's not even 'mine' damn that sucks. It's hard for me. I enjoy being in a relationship because it gives me someone to hold and to love and that loves me in return. I guess I just thrive on someone else a little too much. I need to learn to rely on myself and be more independant, I guess. I think that going to school will give me a chance to do that. I'm going to stay living at my uncles until I've been in school for awhile. Then I'll see how the money situation is and if I'll need a job or a roommate... Yeah... I think I'm done writing for now. I'll probably be writing in here a lot more now. So, keep tuned for new entries by moi.