Can't get ahold of John again, and Im really worried. I have been feeling really sick lately. Just bleh. My dad came home from the hospital finally, and he is a lot better. The whole family is happier, and even Wyeth is being civil to me. This can't last long. Jack came down again to help dad for the weekend, and I got a day off to go look for John. I haven't talked to Rhonda yet, and she has been trying to talk to me. Im still really pissed about her doing that to me. But having that opening in my heart where John should be sitting makes me want to do something like that again. Its so much easier when he is here, and I hate myself even more for relying on him like that right now. He has enough troubles of his own. Christmas is fastly approaching, and I hate it. I wouldn't call myself an athiest, but I just don't like this holiday. People get too weird around this time of year. All the shopping and the pushing and the eggnog and the stupid mistletoe that guys OVERUSE. It should be banned or something. I have cramps too. Stupid bloody menstration. Or as Marie Antoinette said, "General Krottendorf is a pain" I love that term. Better then Aunt Flo, or Riding the Crimson Wave, or Riding the Cotton Pony. I just dont like it...who does? I should go, Im really tired, and I plan to sleep in very late. My only worry is John.