Oh wow! This is what it feels like to be in 2006. Just like yesterday. I hope that everybody had a blast on New Years Because that would make you better than me. My New Years sucked I hated it. I say that I had a sweet time and that it was fun but I was lying. I hated it. I could see that my guests hated it as well. Which makes me feel worse. So anyway, I am upset to hear that Jenna didn't have a good new years either. Mostly because she said that she has never had a good new years before so hmm... Right now I am doing the laundry but I am not trying very hard, only because I hate doing it. I wish that everyone who I loved would be happy. They may not understand me, or feel the same way but I do want everyone to be happy. I bothers me when people are upset and I can't do anything to help them. I feel sometimes like it is my fault. Today I had no fun what so ever I had the worst time that I have had in a while. I was instructed to do my homework and study and shit. but I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing so I said FUCK IT! Earlier this morning I was told that I couldn't see Jenna and I was pissed. I felt like shit the rest of the day. I still do, I haven't seen her in two days. I think that I am going crazy. I have talked to her so that helps but sometimes it isn't the same. I should have told her how I feel. I should have. And so now I realize what my life will consist of. Should haves and have beens. My life will be filled with regret. Why didn't I just kiss her and show her how I feel? Why do I have to fear that she won't like me anymore for knowing who I am. Well, I am afraid pretty much all of the time. I never really understand what is going on. I say stuff that sometimes doesn't make any sense because that is how I am feeling at that moment. I love to listen I love to hear explantions. I love to just listen in general. However I hate when I can't help the people with the problems they have. One more thing before I finish is I really don't like being at home.