i know i need help. to rid myself of thinking about my past. about regrets. i should regret breaking up with her. what has it been, 2, 3 months? i can't regret it. i was the right decision. i just am so bored with carolyn. and i don't love her. and i loved jessica. and i guess that's why i'm so unsatisfied. and i wish these thoughts would go away. and that i wouldn't be so sad anymore. but i cant deny it. i want to be something. somebody. i want to write something or do something incredible. and i want to spend my time with someone i love. i am miserable inside. i don't think all this bottling up is healty.