Sitting there, waiting, the trains going past, and then you come out from the crowd. Almost by surprise, and those eyes shone. They caught every angle the sunlight bestowed upon your body. You had more sunshine than anyone else that day. --rewind I didn't think I'd have to wait this long to see you again. Too long for my lungs to go without fuel to live. Living alone. Wondering when I thought, is there more to living on this unsanctified ground, and yes, yes I can say most honestly there is. --fast forward That day there was more life coming out of your body than I had ever seen. I sucked on it. It fuelled me. Almost worth the wait. Never make me wait that long again. Couldn't take my eyes off yours. Addicted, magnetic, aficionados. Anything, I wanted to take you home with me forever. Then it happened. ENTER:: what's old is now new - - The swing tonight. I sat there, wondering if I could ever stop this hurting. The night was so black. And the coulds so grey. It was an oxymoron waiting to happen. Nine pee-em. I wanted to go home. I wanted to leave, so badly. I didn't want to cry. I did. And it hurts so much more when he does. I didn't mean it. I didn't at all. This isn't something I can fix. I'm not in control. I hate admitting that. Now I know this drowning helplessness. Black holes. Sucking, my skin is itchy, almost a rash infested second body. I can't make any of it better. I just want to look in to those eyes and feed off them for the rest of my life. As if nothing else exists. Trouble is, I don't even know what those eyes look like. I can only imagine. (wash, develop, agitate, wash, stop, fix, agitate, wash, dry)