Before we begin, here's a shout out to fellow Sitdiarrheaer Euphony. Sorry if this post is a little more cacophonous or harsh than you might be used to me writing. I don't consider myself overweight or a glutton by any means. But what *always* makes me feel better-- no matter how poopy my day has been going-- is a fresh-baked slice of cake. "Slice of" is crossed out, because lately I just eat the whole damned thing. Did I mention I'm not a glutton? I'm not even fat. I RUN ALL THE TIME, MMKAY? *** If you look at my first few entries you'll see mention of a young "lady" who's name resembles weather. Shortly after I stopped talking about her, she ran off with her new little boyfriend. I found out recently that they went and got her knocked up. Epic lulz ensued. But what else did Miss Weather expect, when she was living with her new little boyfriend and his mom and they're all too broke to afford a steady stream of condoms? That just spells baby-makin'! What's even funny-er, if myspace is any indication: Miss Weather's New Little Boyfriend (MWNLBF) is about to dump her on her ass. Stay tuned. /popcorn Oh, and she mentioned something about missing me or something, like I was a big part of her life for that year and she's denying herself her emotions. I'm completely sympathetic, trust me, but I was too busy laughing to properly convey that to her. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably. Oh well! (It's not like she wasn't a big deal in my life. But there's better things she could have done to make the last nine months 10x more pleasent) I need cake. There isn't any at four in the morning. Why am I awake right now? Either I'm up way too early or I just never made it to bed. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER! Is that a bad thing? Maybe I'll bake one tomorrow. Nice and chocolate so Michelle won't want any.