I've lost myself. I'm not sure where it happened. At this point in my life I'm working my ass off cleaning toilets (how the fuck did that happen?) so I can afford to go to the local community college (so I can get looked down on by all those B-average Affirmative Action All-stars in the Ivy League) all the while trying as hard as I can to stay in shape. I either need to buy or fix a car, which then needs to be registered and insured. On top of it all, I'm supposed to meet, attract, and keep the love of my life. I'm tired of waiting. It makes me sick to my stomach to lie in bed, alone, again, knowing that when I wake up, shit-covered toilets will be waiting for me at work (Clearly, aiming is hard) and I probably won't receive or give any affection. People want what they can't have; girls don't want what they can. I just want to be wanted, but in wanting I've driven those I care about away.