I was sitting here doing daily quests in WoW after work, and while my shaman was floating across Northrend on his flying carpet I just alt-f4'd out of the game, because I couldn't stand to play for another second. There are cookies on the counter; dinner is soon, but I feel I must eat them all the same. My heart feels dysfunctional. The term "heartbroken" was never meant to be literal, I think. I have to force myself to inhale, and when I exhale my depression seems only to deepen. Yet, I am becoming more and more alert, my eyes widening though I make no conscious effort open them. I long for affection, for friendship. Everyone I could call a friend has other friends who are closer, banded by virtue of time or the nature of their relationships. For so long I was the shoulder to cry on, for all of them. Now that they've found happiness or whatever, I'm left no one to turn to. I originally had tomorrow off, but now I'm working at 4-am. My job at a hardware store is my only source of self-appreciation. Occasionally I feel like I belong to a group when I'm at work: then I swiftly realize how sad that is. I'm not contemplating death at all, but my shaman doesn't realize how accidentally dropping a totem causes his carpet to disappear. At least the game is realistic where it counts: A 3000-foot fall means instant death for my shaman, and expensive damage to his gear. They're serving dinner. I'm not hungry. Maybe I'll eat myself to death.