Ive been sick the past couple days and ive had a lot of time to think... A LOT! To put it in perspecitve.. ive been home for 3 days by myself. In this time ive realized a lot of things... 1.you never know exactally what you want 2.your NOT that person so stop comparing and 3. nothing is forever No matter how much you: want pray wish dream cry agonize (fill in the blank)... whatever your vieing for will not just come to you! Life (despite what were taught from the womb) is not a fairy tale. Opportunities and great experiences dont just fall into ur lap, walk in to ur life or appear out of nowhere. If you want something you have to make if happen, YOU have to get up and do something about it! You have to work ur ass off, for even a gleam of your goal being even within reach. And if you even get it, what do u do with it... you cant belive you have it, right... then u squeeze all the life you can out of it.. you never let it out of ur: hand sight touch whatever. Then what... it gets old... or it ends up being just a mirage... not what you thought... or maybe it is.. maybe its everything that you thought it would be... but it doesnt fill that hole... that gapping large space... the place youve been trying to fill but u dont kno exactaly what goes there. Now what... back to the drawing board.. humm more complicated than that.. in ur quest you have involved other: people things situations... now u have no undo them.. haha have fun with that one.. youve now involved feeling and emotion... and thats the worst company of all! Now ur affecting other peoples lives! Good job buddy... good job! Remember nothing is forever... if ur happy now.. it will change... and dont lie to urself and say it wont.. those of u that verify ur life "live in the moment" well what about the next.. what about when stuff turns shitty.. cuz lord knows it will.. what then... are u gunna live in that moment and end up killing urself... nothing is forever except death, NOTHING!!! And for those that are in a shitty situation... it will change... yeah im tired of hearing people say "it will get better" and "fake it till you make it" well im tired of that.. why cant i just give up... but if u give up.. then u lose... then what ever is keeping you down won... and im not down for losing. And when things could get better.. they wont.. becuase uve dug urself such a rather large hole that you cant get out of.. and no one will stop and bend down to lend u and hand... they just wont. So whats the moral.. theres got to be a moral... stop envying those that are happy, thats just rude... be true to ur friends and urself they're all you have live live to the fullest and have no regrets you get fucked over... pull up ur skirt, find ur balls and get up you fuck someone else over, thats life... be nice about it nothing is forever, cherish what u have right now