Somewhere between the lines i slip... Some how i lost my self in all this i dont know how or why this happened but its taken me way too long to realize what damage i have caused. my friends that have supported me are now as distant as ever, and yet they keep trying to help me, and up until today ive heard them but not really listened. i am doing thigs to destroy all i have built up and my expectations and opinions about things are now so incredible distored im a mess... i want to go back to being that fun loving little girl, but it feels like im so tainted and jaded that i just cant ive tried the whole pretending thing and i got burnt out on that, im not that girl anymore but i just want it back. all the lies, love, drugs, friendship, cigaretts, lunch dates, coffee, broken bones, hearts and dream have become jumbled in to one big mess... and thats me i dont kno what i think anymore im out of control i want to find happeniess but my expectations have taken a blow