So i guess it wasn't the last time i wrote... Jess is gone he went through with it. hes fucking dead and so is a part of me... i found out i am carrying his baby...its been 22 days five hours 18 minutes and 42 seconds sine jess cut his throat and just laid in my arms i let him bleed whenever i sleep i see the fear in his eyes but i can still feel his touch and when i sleep his voice comes to me... Right now there is no point to life but will there ever be? probably not but i want to watch jess' baby grow up i wa see if he looks like me or more like jess. Life is a puzzle to me and i hate puzzles so i hate life but maybe i will find some kind of joy in it. I love you jess rest in peace and like you said baby, well be together forever i'll see you in the end.