eh im here and yea... my friends are no where to be found.... man i need some more friend so i can hang out w/ them on the weekends...anyways im trying to figure out how the hell you put crappy song on here anways later

well im here at my friend Lauras house i went to curch w/ her and it was fun and now were making brownies and cookies for our friends and yea well i better go cause yea lol the kitchen is in flames lol no j/k its not in flames love ya!!

well today was tiredness... been tired today...well right now im whatching Gorege Lopez - why you crying...LOL ITS FUCKEN HALARIOUS!!!! lol *tears of laughter* oh god...well things are ok... im just looking for some good songs to download...so yea.. any suggestion of what songs i should download? i got a membership on napster so yea :)

so yea today is election day, those of you who are of age i urge you to go vote today, i know you may not like John Kerry and/or Gorge Bush but trust me we need to show these igorent polititions that we too can be responseble adults who need more respect from them. we are tomorrows future PEOPLE!! so yea anyways im just here, laura stoled my jaket and went job shadowing today to griffen she liked it, lucky Biss so yea she promis me that she'll bring me back something :) *yay* anyways i stoled Julians sweater :)hehehe :):) well today he was sweet to me :), he kissed my hand, aww, but all this lovely dovey stuff goona make me gag soon, lol im so mean, lol well i had turn in the slip for the field trip, i hope i go, man it will be so much fun :D sure i'll miss julian but hey all this mushie gushie stuff is going to make me barf, lol. so yea like anyways like i said before go vote, go try and make a difference for the future, until the next four years you cant vote until then so yea well g2g and finish up my essay so yea later, hey patty, gladys and dollsvomit :) later :)

so yea today is pattys birthday, shes a kick ass girl who desearves a better life and also Gladys, so yea well im happy cuase like my school won todays homecomming game East had 37 and i think we played Liberty and i think, anyways who ever we had played had 7 points hahaso yea, well today Julian and I had ACTULLY kissed, umm yea, it was W E T yea, well, he had told me that i go REALLY fast, and it was the best kiss he ever had, so yea i guess i should be flatered by that lol, so yea well i talked to suzzet today, i had tryed calling alex, but she wasnt home, i talked to gladys so yea, well i saw, Ubadlo and dusten earlyer, so yea well i better go and call laura, to remind her something, so yea later

well here i am tired... my stupid computer crashed last night, so i went to best buy today and bought a virus scan today so yea.. well i got my dad his b-day present, i got him 50 first dates. so yea well its working ok right now but it took a will for sitdiary to load like about 5 refreshs lol so yea well tomorrow well today i should say, im goin to my uncles i think or maybe were going to la so yea well i g2g later

OMG!! im so pissed yet shocked and kinda happy... well i was planning on breaking up w/ Jules sometime well THIS MONTH!! BUT NO!! WHY?!?!?! CUASE HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!*UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH* GOD!!!! *sigh* so yea i still cant believe it well ill tell ya more about it later i just need to get out and scream my head off and rant and be pissed at him for NO REASON lol i thinks hes a FUCKEN A so yea well later btw: i feel a bit better lol :] i think lol laters

so yea here i am...its 12:02 pm here in alhambra and today im going to be headed back home in bakersfield...CRAP i start school tomorrow :( joy *roles eyes* so yea well later

well here i am at my moms house once agian and im bored and hungery its 11:16 pm here in alhambra and im wondering what and how my LA buddies are doing on this such astounded day..well some of them just started there vacation last week and some are getting ready for school and as for me im starting school in 2 days i dont want to but i have to thats life. but the one thing i cant wait is for the Theater East drama club..oh yea.. well some of my friend at bakersfield are excited for school to start...joy... well im not..hmm i wonder how alex is doing i think ill give her a call later and i think ill call damaris later OH and erica...and carlla? well um i lost her # ehh ill just check her xanga later lol and kim ill e-mail her later and suzzet? ill call her and see what she has planed for today OH and krystal too...yup well i think my day is gonna be filled by surpises..i think up well g2g laters

lonley as ever..and depress only seconds away till i die tonight (will not littlery) i think this might be the end for this love...i wrote a letter to him 2 days ago and it doesnt seem that it helped..the letter was about how i have been feeling and i need him to hug me and let me know that everything will be ok..and i miss it when he would just hug me...bc all we do know he will just stand there like nothing not holding me or anything and hell act like im not even there..and ill try and hug him and he does nothing!!!!!!! nothing at all!! and then i even worte that i miss talking bc all we ever do now is sit and hell be looking through his game mags or on the pcs at school and just recently he got a men mag (the one w/ mostly eith naked girls) and he says its nothing....WE DONT EVEN SPEND TIME TOGETHER ON THE FREKEN WEEKENDS!!! *sigh* i had talked to my friend andy about this well bc hes a guy and he is practcly the closes thing i can trust and that i can talk to around this hell hole!! well i have school tomorrow and i still need to do my hw so i better go i guess...its just that i dont know what to do any more...im sick and tired of always trying and hes not even doing anything to make ends meet! *sigh* maybe patty is right i should dump his ass..even though in 5 days it will be our 1yr and 5 month anaversery...maybe its hard for me bc hes my first boyfriend..and who knows probably my last too..well night people

why is when they fucken promise they will call you and fucken dont!!! he fucken knows i was upset yesterday and he fucken promised me!! i fucken hate him...well no but ugh!! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! I BET YOU HES FUCKEN TALKING TO FUCKEN CARMEN O. WRITE LETERS BACK FORTH TO HER!!!!!! I FUCKEN HATE HER!!! I JUST WANT TO FUCKEN DIE...I HATE MY FUCKEN LIFE....maybe he doesnt love me anymore...he says he does but i dont know anymore...god i need someone to talk to i need patty, gladys, alex, ricky, and kim...i just need someone to talk to who i can trust..fuck damn it...why does he do this to me...

i thik im losing him...it hurts so bad...and what hurts so much more than that is that i dont have anyone to talk to...it feels like patty, gladys, alex, kim, ricky...everyone...just dont want to be my friend anymore...it hurts...it truly hurts so much!! it feels like i have nothing to live for now...i still dont like his "friend" i thik they have feelings for each other and such...today during lunch i wanted to cry he said something really fucked up to me in front of a couple of people in the schools libary and you know what...IT HURT!!! i just wanted to just call my dad and tell him to pick me up so i can just go straight to my room and lock myself in there and just fucken cry...i dont know what to do any more...i mean i love him so much...but im not happy anymore...i havent been for awhile...and i think i know what had trigger it...june 2, 2003...the day Gladys and i goot into some stupid argument and i just felt like dying i think thats what have set me off... im feeling so stress out from my family, school and now work... god i need to get out more...i dont know maybe ill just save up to buy myself a guitar and teach myself how to play and maybe and hopefully that will help me out...hopefully..i just want to die..life truly sucks var pagina= document.location.href; var re = new RegExp ('&', 'gi') ; pagina= pagina.replace(re, '(AmP)') ; document.writeln(' '); document.writeln(''); Kimberly Locke Lyrics

I HATE MY DAD I HATE MY MOM........I HATE MY FUCKEN LIFE...MY BOYFRIEND DOESNT SEEM TO LOVE ME ANYMORE...MY FRIENDS SEEM LIKE THE DONT WANT TO BE MY FRIENDS ANYMORE...I FUCKEN WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN BULL CRAP!!!!!!!! I WANT TO CRY MY HEART OUT AND SCREAM SO FUCKEN LOUD THAT BLOOD SPILLS OUT...POURING INTO MY SO-CALL 'TRAGIC' LIFE I SOMETIMES WONDER IF ITS EVEN WORTH LIVING ANYMORE.... i mean come one we end up diying anyways so whats the fucken point...i dunno...god i need some therapy...and coming from me...DUDE it means i do..bc for all my life i was force against my own will and i FUCKEN HATED THAT CRAP..then i stopped in 9th grade and i serously think i need it again...or at least anti-depress pills...but yea

ehh..bored...

have you ever feel so lonely? no one to talk to not even your love they just seem not to understand you.. ♥ im still depress as it seems.. hopefully seeing my friends on friday will britten my day up...*sigh laters

why does this hurt? i try and try yet things never seem to get better they just end uo fusked up it near end and all you say to me is nothing i want to trust you and love you forever yet when ever i see a certain person i get filled w/ rage dont get me wrong love i do trust you its her i dont but times do show signs that there is no love and so i cry i cry till my heart bleeds the heart i gave you the heart that you were to take care of and yea you just throw it away like a yr book lost in time like the one i asked you to sign then you just blew it off but SHE asked you to you oh so quickly signed and so i say to myself is this really love at times i believe its not b/c I have to ask that Question to myself....whatever did happen to us? is there still an US? or what? my heart is full w/ ach and yet you seem to make it filled more w/ ach...theres times i just wish there isnt an us and yet many times im so glad that theres an us...but why must you play w/ my heart when you know i have a jagged history of trust and love while i start to rot you just sit there ignoring the pain that is within me...is it healthy? i ask of you and you reply is what healthy? as i reply huh oh nothing... but is it healthy? do you even care? about me? i wonder what would you say is you actully took them to read this, my thoughts, my pain, would finally see the pain im in? will you love? what would you say? how will you act? and yes i am depress if you must ask...

today im depress once agian...i want to do something so bad yet i wont... i was close to doing it 2 days ago... but i didnt.. 9 more days of school and things seem to be shitty w/ me and the guy i love so dearly, well reight now im watching One Tree Hill, and yea jimmy eat world is playing and its making me feel more depress.. well part of it is b/c i miss my friends from LA, i need someone to talk to who lives out here and understands me...and Ju..it feels like he doesnt even love me anymore.. i want him to go w/ me to some picnic and he complans that we never do things on the weekend and i had inveted him and he said sure and once out he found out it was for this one thing he back out on it...i want to cry so much and then theres drama w/ my mom and me...ONCE AGIAN...ugg..when will this end? i hope soon..NOT The relationship..the depression..well i better go and keep to my word for pat, gladys and alex.. oh and rick..yuo laters

ehh..... yeas i know i havent been on for a while, well i have news for ya poopoo heads.. eh eh poo-poo heads eh heheeh uh anyways im talking to RICKY!! again!! and hes gone gay and im talking to KIMI once again and omg heres the BIG drum roll...I HAVE A B- IN HISTORY!!... I KNOW CRAZY HUH!! man i was as sock as you were i mean come on im the one to be failing history!!oh and im gonna go see sin city w/ KIMI, ANDREA, DESIRE, BRENT AND, CARRY so yea whats new w/ you?

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

so yea here i am at school.... yea yea i know this late!! its 5:20 pm!!! well heres the deal im helping w/ my school drama play.. so if you live in Bakersfield close to East Bakersfied you should come like at 7 and watch guys and dolls..so yea im bored... yayness liz is here cool oh patty im updating just for you!!! happy:D so yea well i got a new cd its the used oh yea!!! well i went to the mall w/ julian yea we just walked around oh yea somebody is playing SUGARCULT!!!!!!! oh yea its time to break down lol jk well yeasterday i was on a firld trip so yea ill write more later i have to go and help out so yea laters yalll i miss you patty and gladys!!! ill try and call you peeps later ok love yas!!