lonley as ever..and depress only seconds away till i die tonight (will not littlery) i think this might be the end for this love...i wrote a letter to him 2 days ago and it doesnt seem that it helped..the letter was about how i have been feeling and i need him to hug me and let me know that everything will be ok..and i miss it when he would just hug me...bc all we do know he will just stand there like nothing not holding me or anything and hell act like im not even there..and ill try and hug him and he does nothing!!!!!!! nothing at all!! and then i even worte that i miss talking bc all we ever do now is sit and hell be looking through his game mags or on the pcs at school and just recently he got a men mag (the one w/ mostly eith naked girls) and he says its nothing....WE DONT EVEN SPEND TIME TOGETHER ON THE FREKEN WEEKENDS!!! *sigh* i had talked to my friend andy about this well bc hes a guy and he is practcly the closes thing i can trust and that i can talk to around this hell hole!! well i have school tomorrow and i still need to do my hw so i better go i guess...its just that i dont know what to do any more...im sick and tired of always trying and hes not even doing anything to make ends meet! *sigh* maybe patty is right i should dump his ass..even though in 5 days it will be our 1yr and 5 month anaversery...maybe its hard for me bc hes my first boyfriend..and who knows probably my last too..well night people