do i even mean anything to you

why does this hurt? i try and try yet things never seem to get better they just end uo fusked up it near end and all you say to me is nothing i want to trust you and love you forever yet when ever i see a certain person i get filled w/ rage dont get me wrong love i do trust you its her i dont but times do show signs that there is no love and so i cry i cry till my heart bleeds the heart i gave you the heart that you were to take care of and yea you just throw it away like a yr book lost in time like the one i asked you to sign then you just blew it off but SHE asked you to you oh so quickly signed and so i say to myself is this really love at times i believe its not b/c I have to ask that Question to myself....whatever did happen to us? is there still an US? or what? my heart is full w/ ach and yet you seem to make it filled more w/ ach...theres times i just wish there isnt an us and yet many times im so glad that theres an us...but why must you play w/ my heart when you know i have a jagged history of trust and love while i start to rot you just sit there ignoring the pain that is within me...is it healthy? i ask of you and you reply is what healthy? as i reply huh oh nothing... but is it healthy? do you even care? about me? i wonder what would you say is you actully took them to read this, my thoughts, my pain, would finally see the pain im in? will you love? what would you say? how will you act? and yes i am depress if you must ask...