Aghhh I havent gotten sleep in sooo long Everynight i sit in my bed with all the lights off and everything turned off and i just lay there looking at the starts. I havent been able to sleep since ghaa idk. Like about 2 months i believe. Everythings finally getting to me and ugh it sux alottttt. The only people that actually get it are jessica & pam I'm always the strong one and i can always keep things in but i've done it for so long now, i just like exploded. I cant stop crying and im so emotional its making me sick I havent been able to eat in like 3 days and if i do eat i feel sick to my stomach. My head hurts and my eyes are always constantly red. Its hard to concentrate in school but i cant seriously afford to miss it. My grades arent good and it would ruin alot of things this summer if my grades are shitty.. Ew life is just real bad right now. I feel like this is the worst its ever been. Actually it is the worst its ever been. Its hard to want to keep on going when you feel so bad. Every morning i just hate waking up. I wish i could sleep & sleep forever. Never wake up & id be happy forever. Id seriously rather be dead then feel the way i do now. But idkkk. I hope it gets better but theres pretty much nothing that can make it better. Well there is but its not going to happen anytime soon; im pretty sure of it at least.