Today ended up a good day. So i ditched with hadley 3rd period because she is sick & wanted some company so i went. I came back at lunch w/ her and we stayed till after school. I got my report card & i have 2 f's & 2 d's. Pretty shitty. Im scared. Eek oh well. That'll change soon. Then i come home & i got a comment back from josh. I told him "Well i called you & you didnt answer ur phone & u basically flaked rememberr. & you act like u dont even want to know me anymore" So ya he called me. We talked for a while about good things & bad things. He wanted to know why i had to mess things up and it hurt cuz i honestly dont know why i did. I mean he said he still loves me & maybe we'll have something later but for now we just can't. I respect that. He's kinda upset lately though because of alyssa. I am kinda helping him get through it. He said im his best friend as a girl and im happy about that. I just hope he's not saying things to make me happy. I really do wanna be here for him & i told him he can talk to me about anything. He said he felt bad cuz he knows i still like him & have feelings for him but i told him im okay for now. I'll learn to live with it and id rather be the one to help him with his problems than someone else cuz i've always been there for him so why stop now. I hope we continue things like this cuz i miss talking to him. For now i just really want him to be happy & i'm gonna back his decision up 100%. Forever i will. I'll be crushed though if he drops me as a friend if him & her get together. I dont want to just be his "bitch" for now and once he gets someone else just drop me all of a sudden. But anyways... I'm happy that me & him are talking and things are good..For now at least. We'll see what happens < / 3 Annettiee