Hello journal, Well what’s been going on with me. That’s the whole question that’s been going through my head. I don’t understand why I have been so mean to the people that I really care about. I don’t mean to its just that I don’t. I have been also thinking if Nate a lot lately. He’s been crawling in my mind making me feel so fucked up. I miss him so much. The food, the games. The hassle, and the pranks. I miss his smile that made me feel like I was really someone special that someone really cared about me. With the whole Corey thing I just give up. He makes me feel like shit and so does everyone. Yes there are people that like me but I just don’t give a rat ass about them. Everything seems like its falling apart even the friendships that I have with other. Roman and Ricky went to Nate’s grave and then they wanted me to go with them. I wasn’t able to go cause I was supposed to watch my brothers. But then my parents didn’t even end up going. But then Quinn and me went like 8. So I was pissed. I wanted to go cause I haven’t gone yet and there is so much I need to say. I even look in the sky sometime and try to see if he up there and being the way he is. I have notice a lot of people have been thinking of Nate also. I am not the only one. I also saw Cody today I was happy to see him. I got a hug of course and then I also got food yummy. Well I don’t think I am gonna give anyone a chance right now. Love isn’t a word that can be expressed unless its really true. There is just no hope right now. So I have called it a quits. Brittany has been there a lot for me and I thank her cause I would be a more of a wreak then I am. Thank you Brittany and I love you. Well I have to go so later. Much love peace. Patience R.I.P. NATE-O