today i went to ashley's. she's my friend and all. but she gets sooo annoying. i can't stand her sometimes. well she is now going out with that anthony kidd. the one I!!! like. soo yea.. and the dumm thing is.. the other day he told me he hated her. and that she ruined his life. and then they made up yesterday. and now he asked her out yesterday. that makes me soooo madd. especially since she knows i like him. and he told me he liked me too. i guess he didnt like me enough. if he's sparatically going out with her. she'll go out with any1. which is another thing i hate. even if she dont like them.she'll date him. thats one of the worst traits some1 could possibly have. so now ant is always calling me. cuase we're friends and stuff. and 2moro we're sopossubly hanging out. but im not sure if i really want to. since now he's just going to talk about her the entire time. and get this.. he doesnt even know why he likes her. i know why.. its because she has big boobs and is the dummest blonde ever. thats why. there couldnt be any other reason.if u knew this girl you would deffaitly understand. but omg.im just soo upset. and i guess jelous. cause she doesnt deserve him. he's way to good for her. and he doesnt realize it. well..i guess there's nothing i can do about this. other tan sit back and watch him get hurt.. cause she will dump him. and he will be crushed. and then ill be the one who talks him through it. he needs to come to his sences and realize its me who deserves him. but until then.. goodbye

i dont know why i do this to myself. i know boys lie. but i still believe them when they say im pretty and they like me. i guess i shouldnt anymore!?! he tells me im the nicest girl he's ever know.and that im sooo pretty.but he doesnt want a girlfriend right now because all the nice girls he's recently dated have turned out to be total bitches.so i belieave him and now im all happy because he thinks im pretty. but i come to find out.. he asked kristin out 2 days before he told me i was pretty. i hate that. especially cuz he is so much younger than her.and he doesnt see that she doesnt like him at all.this story goes way back to last summer.when she only went out with him because she felt bad for him.but i was the one who really really liked him.and she didnt at all.and he would b soo sweet to her and she would think he's to clingy and corny.but i would love the thigns he did for her.so they broke up and ever since then he askes her out all the time.and he finally stopped for a really long while.and now he tells me im pretty and invites me to the beach with him.and i think wow this is great he's finally getting over her and realizing she doesnt like him.but i ask her..have u talked to him latley!?and she says yea the other day... he asked me out again too. i was PISSED. but i wasnt gonna tell her. cause she's such a bitch about these types of things and would go kick his ass or something stupid like that. so i didnt. and now he is all talking to me.but i dont know what to say..cause im so madd. should i tell him i know he asked her out!?! or just let it slide and b happy that he likes me? idk. i hate teen years. they are to fucking complicated.

this boy right.. he told me i was pretty the other day. p.s i've kinda had a super crush on him since last summer. i think somethings gonna happen this summer. maybe me and him will get together. i hope we do. and i really want to go to the movies with him 2night. but his fone is off. and if he doesnt put it on soon.. he'll b at the movies allready. =/ please turn on your fone kidd!! haha im super happy that he thinks im pretty YAY!! <33333333333

i try. i try realy hard. i make myself look good everyday for school. trying to get a boy to notice me. but he never does. i walk around all day.. trying to keep it together b/c im the girl who no1 ever notices. im the safe friend. im the friends girls can trust with their b/f's which is a good and bad thing. i want to be the 1 they can trust. but i want to be the one who has a b/f. i want my first date. and i want that special person who like me more than a friend. us girls all want that one boy to notice us.. its our moment. but i've never had that moment. i walk around day after day.. and never get my moment. i cant tell u how much i'd kill for that moment. that feeling of being high above the clouds. but me.. im Sam..the safe friend.. who never gets noticed... never gets told shes pretty by boys. and thinks she isn't going to get a date for her 8th grade dance. me..im that girl who watches all her friends pass guys around like a book. you read it..and pass it on to the next girl to read. well..i dont do that. it isn't me. im not the one who sits in lunch and lets buys touch me and make me feel like they can get w/e they want from me. well i can tell u i will never be that girl. and i hope the reason i don't get noticed isn't b/c of it. im not very confident. but i try. i dont try to hard but believe me i try. i chicken out.. i guess its nerves. but idk. i wish i had the confidence of kate.and the looks of lexi. but i understand that i am me and should b happy with who i am. but sometimes.. i find myself thinking..that ill never get that moment.

wow.. so everything is jus so confusing now adays. i honestly dont know who to like anymore. i guss i dont really have a crush at the moment. well theres danny..but i still can't quite figure him out. i jus found out my cousin and her b/f were lookin at engagemen rings..and he told her he wants to marry her. so im so happy. literally she was all excited and happy and thats what she deserves. she hasnt felt this great in 4ever and im so happy for her. i wanted to cry. hah thats pretty emotional but i really did. and i know..that when she does get married and im her brides maid..i WILL cry. cause she is like my sister..only cousin.haha well im jus so happy for her. now if only i could get a firts b/f. that would b great.haha report cards are coming out soon and im dreading it. i know i got like an 82 in science and i prob failed Social studies. which sux. my moms gonna kill me. but w.e im sick of all this shit i g2g bye

well for my spring break im off to florida. this doesn't really feel like spring though. since just the other day it was SNOWING!! i mean come on!! snow!?!?!?! gimmi a break already i want sun and tan's and beach!! no snow!! i love the snow..but not now. well anyway. 2moro im off 2 florida from sat.to sat. ill b bac..n ready for easter. well see ya.

The stars, The stars are what I wish on. The stars in that gorgeous night sky The stars is where I wish I could be The stars..the place i wish i could fly to, I wish I could fly there and be away from all the hate I wish I could fly there and feel nothing but happyness and excitement I wish I could fly there and stay there.. because life itself is getting old right about now and I'm just about to crack, So I wish upon those gorgeous stars... I wish and I wish.. that I could fly to those stars and stay there, forever and ever.

i drove the car today!! it was so much fun. i was goin a lil to fast though. it was my first time and i did awesome. i didnt hit ANYTHING and i even went onto a main road!! but then turned off it after a couple of blocks. kinda scary..but TOTALLY worth it. i loved it can't wait till i do it again.

i am in so much fuckin pain right now. i had softball practice 2day. n we were practicing sliding. and i guess i slid 2 late cause i ended up sliding my ankle right into the base..mind you the base is HARD!! so my entire ankle is swollen and has huge gashes all over. it hurts like a MF stinning and bleeding and brusing. i think its sorta sprained. cause the part that is swollen is right on the bone. it looks realli nastly too. well i guess im gonna have to make it better in the next few days cause our first game is on friday. and i MUST play. i refuse not to even if my ankle is sprained. i worked to hard to b out of the first game. so i will not b out. i can garuntee you that. lol. well i g2g. see ya.

so 2day i went shopping for a conformation dress and shoes. i found the most gorgeous dress i cant wait to show it off. im going to wear it for conformation and the 8th grade dance. its this gorgeous blue and it goes right above the knee its simply stunning. and these gorgeous white heel sandal thingys. its goin to look great. mayb it will impress Mike.lol see ya

to day is my 14th birthday i dont feel any diff. i wish i did. i got money and a watch. and sum jewlery from a friend. i think im going to buy myself an acoustic guitar. with all the money i got. and one of thos books that etaches me how to play. ive always wanted to.so why not now? today was actually just like any other saturday. it didnt realli feel like a birthday. we went out to dinner.and to my cshool 2 watch the play. it was actually pretty cute. the lead in the play was a girl i know. she really great. well anyway. im now 14. so yea. Happy birthday to me!

so dan wasn't in school 2day. i looked for him though even though i knew he wasn't thea. and thea is the fact that we dont realli say anything to eachother in school. which sux. cuz im starting to like him. lol. we only have lunch 2gether. but i see him like all day. kate said she thinks im gonna go out with him. but idk. im starting to like him.. and it sorta looks like he's into me. when i say sorta..i mean a really big sorta. i allways se him staring at me n stuff. like..ill walk into lunch.. and he'll look at me..look away and slunch down in his chair. then he'll look bac as he's slunched. its pretty cute. and i know he's doing it to.cause i see him do that everyday when i walk by. and then i thought ohh he's prob lookin at sum girl around me or sumtin.. so one day when i left lunch early..i still saw him lookin at me. n now i get butterflys when i see him. i told all this to kate.. and she thinks its just a matter of time b4 we go out. but i cant go by that.. cause that has never happened to me..so why now..? well idk..but i would love it if she was right. ok well i g2g.

So saturday is my BIRFDAY!! and yea..im gonna b 14!! woop-ee lol well yea im excited and what not. me n ma best friend(a.k.a almost sis) and then ma other bff kate are goin out to the outback and hanging out all day. n then at night we're goin 2 my school 2 see the play. cause im jus kool like that. well..no its not that cool but i didnt know wat else 2 do.. so i figured why not go n make fun of em??lol jp well yea..my birthday is saturday..april 1st..APRIL FOOLS DAY!! and hahah its lik ethe coolest birthday ever for the koolest girl ever. so stfu lol luv me.<3

allright. well 2day was the dumm basketball awards. i wa sthea for like 5 hours. boring. but w.e i saw ant n we talked.. but it wasnt long until he started talking bout kristin. wata shocker. i hate when he does that. he knows i still like him.. but he insists on talking to me about her so after the awards i went to her house n he calls her.. and then we were all talking n w.e n then i leave n go home. go online n start talking to him.. but i didnt really know wat 2 say.. so i guess i froze.. and i started to say like.. i never know wat 2 say to u for sum reason.. and then he started like actin all wierd n signed off. i hate that i can't talk 2 him.. we used to talk all the time.. n he used to make me feel so confortable about how i felt. and thats what i loved about him.. but now kristin has like changed him.. all he ever talks about is her.. meanwhile she like hates him.. which i dont get cause he's one of the nicest guys ive ever met. and hes adorable...and hott. but w.e i suck at talking and thats official. goodnight.

last game of my school basketball season this morning. WE WON!! it was awesome we kicked BS ass!! i went to schore at one of the last 20 sec and then barley missed!! but we had sooo much fun we sprayed our coach with water n had cup cakes. and game him presents. it was a great game. like 42 to 31. AMAZING!! girls b-ball 06' amazing! see ya next year. <3

OMG!! 2night was amazing!! we had this thing at our school where the basketball teams play the teachers! and the girls play the girls and boy play boys. well i was soo nervous cause im naturally a nervous person.. but 2night.. the entire gym(my schoolz gym is ginormous)was PACKED!! all the bleachers were full and people were standing. well me..in the beginning was sooo nervous. but by the time every1 was playing and i started..ohh mann. it was soo funn!! thea was a DJ and every1 was yelling and cheering. it was the best feeling ever. and to top it off!! I GOT A SHOT!! i was so proud of me.lol but its pretty big for me considering i really havent gotten a shot all season. and now i get 1 in. best feeling ever!! well i g2g.fans are callin the cell.lol jp. byez

yea..so 2day went pretty normal. besides all the girls wearing the same clothes b/c for sum reason my principal decides to make a school sirit week.. certain days were certain themes.. hawaian day.. sports day.. nationality day.. and 2day..twin day.. all these dumm girls dressed up 2gether and walked around school all day 2gether. it was fuckin hilarious.lmao. so that was kinda not normal but w.e. and then we had a normal b-ball practice.. and i got ma new CELL!! yesh!! its so hawt.. and its the v cast!! so i got 2 put on a song so people hear it as they call me! its so sweet. lol well i g2g byez

some1 help me will some1 tell me the secret to life there has got to be one they're has got to be a way to work around everything there has got to be an easier way than this there has got to be some way to make everything okay again. there has got to be something i can do.. press a button.. say a magic word.. anything? well ill search forever..until the secret to life has been found cause thats what i want.. i want things to be okay... but i dont know if there will ever be a way to find the secret to life.. i guess some things are impossible..

I HATE basketball reffs!! wtf is their problems?? we need a good reff. cause we were in the 4th quarter and it was a tie game..like 17 17 and then all of a sudden the reffs start calling us on EVERYTHING!! and they never call 1 thing on the other damm team! we could have one the damm game!! but of course they had to call a travel on every person on my team that got the ball when they didnt even start to move their feet yet im soo sick of this shit!! wtf is wrong with people? well then i was sopossed to go 2 religeon. and thats why we like left the game without goin with the rest of the team on the bus. well turns out my mother lied to me. she told me we were goin 2 go 2 religeon after the game..instead we went n got damm pizza. i could care less about eatin. i really wanted to see mike. but thats besides the point. she told me we were goin 2 religeon and thats why i couldnt go on the bus.so i told my coach that and like 4 other girls did the same thing so really what did i do??i fuckin lied b/c of what my mom wanted...FOOD! i wasnt even hungry really.well w.e sick of all this crap basketball will soon b over on saturday. and then softball starts on monday!! i missed it. i love it. #1 sport ever is softball.thank you and goodnight. <3

Mike is the one ill always love. but if he won't love me bac.. then i guess i should try and like someone else. ive liked this kido ant since the summer. hes really sweet. he's in 7th though.he doesnt seem like it. he's a star baseball player. he listens to everything i have 2 say. we have a lot of fun 2gether im his good luck charm at his baseball games. mayb i should like other people. mike will come around eventually. but i dont think i want to just walk around thinkin he'll come around.cause what if he doesnt? well i think ill start talkin more to ant again.and see what happens there. mayb something will come out of that. if not... w.e..i guess im just going to have to accept.. that everyone doesnt get boyfriends.. and mayb ill just have to be one of them..