Today was my ex-best friends birthday. I really hate the fact that she comes up everyday no matter how much i try for her not to. I have unconditional love for her because i mean, she used to be my best friend....shows how much of a friend i can be. It bugs me so much knowing that someone that i hates me, and i hate so much, could have ever been that close with me. That makes no sense to me. It kills me knowing that i was her friend for so long. We used to be so true to eachother and do everything together, and that was demolished after all that shit happened. She does the most evil shit to me...it makes it hard to believe that she could have ever been my pick of friends. I hate her just as much as she hates me...it's just hard for me to get through my head i guess. I didn't go to school today. I just didn't feel like it. So i sat at home and watched movies and sat on my ass all day. Nothing exciting. I can't wait until tomorrow! =) It's one of my best friend Adam's 18th birthday...and me and my friend Will are going to herndon to pick him up and taking him out to eat. It's gonna be so much fun i get to meet his family and stuff and all of his herndon friends. It's kind of hard having a best friend who lives so far away. Kind of hard to keep a strong relationship...but with 2 friends that care so much for eachother..we seem to make things work.I used to feel like i was pressured to hang out with him and be his friend. I used to go out with his best friend (Will) and at the time...he liked me. In that time alot of fucked up shit happened. So it's kind of like, since i didn't go out with him, or i'm not his friend, then he'll feel like i used him to get to Will. But the thing is I didn't so i'm not gonna let that shit get to me.